The Naughty Hare [RP ad thread for several different guilds]

[welian]

Tania stared in shock as Kipp disappeared within the confines of his hat. "... Sweetcakes?" She picked up the hat, the brim pinched between her thumb and forefinger, and eyed it cautiously. It didn't feel at all as though a male rabbit demon was inside.

"OH MAH GAWD HE'S DEAD!!!" Tania wailed. She hugged the hat tightly. "WHY?! Venus was in conjuncture with Neptune and EVERYTHING!!!"

[RavenRoseQueen]

A dark looking girl walk in the bar.
She rolled her eyes a bit...
Which was well, what she did best, if you wanted to get right down to it.
She looked at the griefstriken rabbit lady and handed her a cleannix.
" Im sure his not too dead, Sweet lady."
She said in a montone vioce. Moving on like she was a ghost she started to clean up the spilled rack of booze and other assorted drinks.
((lol this is sooo not how Im the whole time lol I change it up later ^^))

[Kami-Kahzy]

Kipp, contrary to Tania's wails, was very much alive. In fact, he was now in his pseudo-space having a meeting of war with a stuffed bear, a rubber chicken, and a pet rock wearing a general's helmet. Khale was sporting a tattered admiral's jacket and was pacing back and forth in front of them. "Alroight men, thah enemey 'as infiltrated our defenses. Wot is our plan of attack?" ...No response from the assorted 'generals'. Kipp frowned at his cabinet. "Yew lot are all a bunch a bloighters. Can' reloi on ya s'far as oi can toss ya."

That's when Kipp heard Tania's crying outside of the confines of his hat. Kipp's ears drooped at this. He didn't mean to make the poor girl cry! "Bloody 'ell. Mum warned me 'bout 'is." This was when Kipp decided to do something that would probably get him tackled. Again. ..."Bullocks."

Outside in the real world, the hat that Tania was grasping on to desperately was beginning to bulge and squirm like something was moving inside it. Which it was, to be fair. The next minute, Kipp's legs shot out of the bottom of his hat, jumped him clear over the bar and giving him several feet of distance between him and Tania. As he landed, Kipp seemed to spill out of his hat in it's entirety, landing neatly on his feet with his hat landing spot on his head. Kipp dusted himself off a bit, let his arms fall to his sides, and began to speak rationally to Tania. "Look, yore cute an' all, bu' oim jus' no' in tah goin' from 'owdyado' tah 'le's get 'itched' roight quick."

[RavenRoseQueen]

The girl Name Girl had to smile a bit at her boss and
his try at getting out of getting married. As he clean up that last of the bottles.

[welian]

The look on Tania's face as Kipp popped back out of the hat could only be described as pure ecstasy. Clearly, she didn't hear what he said about getting hitched, or had any mind to listen to and respect his feelings.

... Or maybe she did. Tania stood up, and smoothed her skirt. "Alright!" she said, and raised her right fist. She pounded it to her heart, and bowed her head. "The stars have spoken. I'm gonna win your heart the old-fashioned way." Starting with a hot, steamy French kiss...

[Kami-Kahzy]

((I kid you not, star translates to 'lah-di-dah' in cockney. I couldn't make up something that awesome.))

Kipp did the closest thing to an anime sweat drop that he could manage. Quickly shaking it off, though, Kipp put one hand on his hip and pointed his finger at Tania questioningly. "Alroight, wha's wiff all 'is talk 'bout lah-di-dahs an' fates an'... an'... wot're yew looking at me loike 'at fore?" Because it was halfway through his sentence that Kipp noticed that Tania had gotten a very determine look in her eye. A very sexy determined look. ....veeeeeery sexy.....

Come to ya sod! She's up tah somefin! Kipp mentally berated himself for trailing away like that, but she was awfully cute when she got that.. little... glint in her eye....

Kipp unconsciously tilted his head to the side in appreciation of the rabbit girl that was standing in front of him. Completely letting down his guard for whatever was going to come next. Which was quite sad because Kipp hadn't even noticed his hired-hand come in the door. Pity, he would've liked to have chatted with her a bit. But right now he was under the spell of those big brown eyes of Tania...

((Ok, now I'M the one that needs to be shot. x3))

[welian]

((... Oh, eff this. I can't post tonight.))

[welian]

((And no, no you could not.))

Tania let her arms fall to her sides and haughtily strolled past Kipp. Her high-heeled shoes and pleated skirt complimented each other, creating that subtle yet enticing swagger of the butt that every woman strived for, but few could achieve.

She flipped her long and loosely curled brunette hair right as she was next to him, and walked to the center of the bar. "Now watch," she commanded. "How a woman brings in customers." This was her first step to Kipp's heart, attracting lots of profitable business for his bar. If he saw how well she could advertise, he'd love her forever, she was sure of it!

[Kami-Kahzy]

Kipp would have been thrilled with the fact that this beautiful young woman was about to bring in a crap ton of customers to his bar, but he was a bit more preoccupied with something. Something south of her waistline. Something that shouldn't have to be explained this fully.Kipp just stood there, staring at Tania's nicely shaped backside, allowing the slightest bit of drool to wet his lips.

Which was also the reason there was a loud trumpeting noise that immediately came from inside of Kipp's hat. Followed immediately by a large elephant's trunk, which proceeded to slap Kipp square across the face. The trunk quickly retreated back into Kipp's hat as Kipp took the article of clothing off his head and proceeded to shout into it in a miffed manner.

"Oi! Wot was 'at fore!?" Another loud trumpet blast could be heard, blowing Kipp's ears back slightly. Kipp actually responded back, making it seem like he could understand the animal. "Well wot d'yew 'spect me tah dew, eh?" Another blast, this time blowing back Kipp's cheeks even. "Yore jus' jealous cause yew can' ge' a pearl for yoreself!"

That's when the trunk actually reached up through the hat and grabbed hold of Kipp by his neck. Kipp gagged as the trunk quickly pulled him into the hat, causing the thing to fall to the ground with a soft 'plop'.

A few moments of silence passed. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. It was almost as quiet as...

And that's when the insanity ensued. The hat began to hop and bounce around the whole bar with large fighting noises coming from inside. The hat squirmed and distorted, sometimes throwing out large, frightening, and sometimes comical weapons. Pretty soon there was a mace, a large hammer, a smashed pie, and a bear trap lying on the floor where the hat had been.

[welian]

((..... wow.))

Tania whipped around when she heard the trumpeting. "Oh no! Snuggums, what's the matter?!" She stared. That hat... it was moving on its own. With very, very strange noises coming from within. A few items were emptied out onto the floor, one of them a bear trap.

Tania stared at it for a bit, until she realized what it was and how she could use it. She dashed over to the trap and not being strong enough to really carry it easily, she simply dragged it over to where she thought the hat might be next.

SNAP! The trap activated when the hat landed on top of it, and clamped the brim shut. It looked kind of like a mouth holding a large misshapen bag.

[Kami-Kahzy]

Kipp's hat continued to struggle for a few minutes, then it stopped. It was quiet again, but only for a short while this time. There was soon a knocking sound coming from the brim of the hat where the bear trap had it shut. More knocking came when the hat wouldn't open, this time much more rapidly. When the hat still wouldn't open, the hat began to struggle against it. It bulged and squirmed, trying to escape from the trap's jaws.

After about a minute of aimless hopping, the jaws of the trap actually began to open! Two sets of fingers could be seen on the jaws of the trap slowly prying it open. Once there was enough leeway, Kipp poked his head up through the hat and between the jaws of the trap. Sucking in a huge lungful of air, Kipp began to shout out, "Heeeeeeeelp!!!!" But Kipp wasn't able to keep the jaws open forever, and he quickly lost his grip. The jaws snapped shut, trapping his fingers and his windpipe between them. Kipp's head plopped to the ground, his neck still caught in the jaws, and his tongue lolling out as he gasped for air.

[welian]

Tania stared wide-eyed at Kipp.
And screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!"
And cerimoniously collapsed onto the floor of the bar. This of course, attracted the attention of multiple people who heard the scream from outside the bar, and immediatly rushed in to see what was going on.

[Kami-Kahzy]

It was actually lucky that Tania screamed like she did, because it attracted the attention of one of Kipp's regulars. A large troll named Frank. Frank walked in the bar, took one look at the situation, and shook his head. This was the up-teenth time he had had to save Kipp's scrawny behind from himself. Frank walked over to Kipp's hat, pried the jaws open in one swuift movement, and pulled Kipp out of his hat. Kipp was gasping for air, which didn't last long because Frank gave him a sound slap on the back which, oddly enough, regulated Kipp's breathing brilliantly. Kipp looked up at Frank and waved at him slightly. "Thanks mate." Frank just snorted and left the bar as it was, ushering the other people out and away from the commotion.

Kipp coughed a few more times before he retrieved his hat and put it back on his head. It was then that he noticed Tania slumped on the ground, passed out cold. This frightened Kipp immensely, hoping to whatever higher power that she was alright. Kipp knelt down by her and picked her up by her shoulders, cradling her head in his lap. Kipp reached up into his hat and pulled out a paper fan which he used to try and bring Tania out of the state she was in.

((Insert cheesy kiss scene..... here. lol))

[RavenRoseQueen]

(( OH MY lol))
Girl, watched all the going ons.
She waved at the Toll Frank, as he left,
happy he was there to see things righted.
Then handed Kipp a glass of water,
"Might help?" said in her montone voice.
She then took to fixing drinks for there guests.

[welian]

"No... no.... no...." Tania continued to murmur under her breath as Kipp fanned her. She was severely traumatized.