Kudomne
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Posted: Wed, 26 Jul 2006 18:56:26 +0000
Ummm.... can you all give me feed back on this story I'm making for a Roleplay. Can you tell me of any plotholes or things you suggest I should change?
Thankyou!
The story is really long but please read it!
Story:
Millions of years ago, A cataclismic war raged. The amount of damage and loss of lives was utterly immeasurable. They were countless races then, all striving for dominance over the earth.
Since the planet was not unified because of the raging war, it was vulnerable to attack from the cosmos. A dark sweeping came and took the planet off guard. Some of the shamans noticed the oncoming danger and tryed to warn everyone but noone would listen so they sealed some of their races magic in crystals and hid them so that in the future their war could rage on. The dark force destroyed all life on the planet.
The Earth lied dormant for nearly 3000 years until a race, driven from their home planet that was destroyed by the same sweeping force that overtook earth 3000 years ago, chose earth as their new homeworld. After about 2.5 millenia they left in search of a better homeworld. They left minerals and resources which harboured new life on the planet. that is when the dinosaurs and the other life on the planet was created.
In 2011 a strange crystal was found in the mountains of china. Studies were done on it and it was classified as a new type of crystal. An Eviance Stone. A meusem in tokyo bought it and put it on display. A master thief robbed the meusem taking countless jewels, including the Eviance Stone. In his escape the Eviance Stone fell out of his bag and he was caught. The stone was found by a boy around the age of 16. Oblivious to the news he took it home and used it as a good luck charm. The stone sensing it now had a suitable owner released some of its magic while the boy was out practicing Archery. It enchanted his bow with the powers of light.
The release of energy from the Eviance Stone attracts a dark force, the Deva-Chaotica to try and steal the energy of the Eviance Stones for an energy source. they attack tokyo in search of the Eviance stone. The boy uses his found power to destroy the invasion in downtown tokyo.
Researchers in the Deva-Chaotica found out that if they built a machine that duplicated the energy from the eviance stones that they could awaken more of them and use their energy as artillery and an energy source. With that much firepower they could easily rule the galaxy.They fired the energy wave and activated all of the eviance stones on earth. They all found hosts quickly and they became targets of the Deva-Chaotica.
Now the fight to save the Eviance Stones, the world, and the galaxy has begun.
We'll need some people to fight on the good side(Eviance Stones) AND the bad side(Deva-Chaotica) so I'm gonna make forms for both of them. And if your on the good side, try to be a human because if you're not it wouldn't fit in the storyline very well.... sorry, But if youre on the bad side then you can be whatever you like!
Eviance Stone Form:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Appearance:
Eviance Ability: ( can be pretty much anything, but NO GODMODDING! )
Weapon: I guess you dont have to have one
Description:
Deva-Chaotica Form:
Name:
Race:
Age:
Gender: guess you dont have to have one of these
Appearance:
Ability: ( again, pretty much anything, but NO GODMODDING! )
Weapon: or these...
Description:
but try and have fun!
Rules:
1. NO GODMODDING!
2. Post your profile before starting, use the forms provided.
3. Romance is allowed, but try not to offend anyone. I WILL ban you if you use it excessively.
4. Cursing is allowed. but again try not to offend anyone. I WILL ban you if you use it excessively.
Questions? Comments? PM me plese!
Thankyou!
The story is really long but please read it!
Story:
Millions of years ago, A cataclismic war raged. The amount of damage and loss of lives was utterly immeasurable. They were countless races then, all striving for dominance over the earth.
Since the planet was not unified because of the raging war, it was vulnerable to attack from the cosmos. A dark sweeping came and took the planet off guard. Some of the shamans noticed the oncoming danger and tryed to warn everyone but noone would listen so they sealed some of their races magic in crystals and hid them so that in the future their war could rage on. The dark force destroyed all life on the planet.
The Earth lied dormant for nearly 3000 years until a race, driven from their home planet that was destroyed by the same sweeping force that overtook earth 3000 years ago, chose earth as their new homeworld. After about 2.5 millenia they left in search of a better homeworld. They left minerals and resources which harboured new life on the planet. that is when the dinosaurs and the other life on the planet was created.
In 2011 a strange crystal was found in the mountains of china. Studies were done on it and it was classified as a new type of crystal. An Eviance Stone. A meusem in tokyo bought it and put it on display. A master thief robbed the meusem taking countless jewels, including the Eviance Stone. In his escape the Eviance Stone fell out of his bag and he was caught. The stone was found by a boy around the age of 16. Oblivious to the news he took it home and used it as a good luck charm. The stone sensing it now had a suitable owner released some of its magic while the boy was out practicing Archery. It enchanted his bow with the powers of light.
The release of energy from the Eviance Stone attracts a dark force, the Deva-Chaotica to try and steal the energy of the Eviance Stones for an energy source. they attack tokyo in search of the Eviance stone. The boy uses his found power to destroy the invasion in downtown tokyo.
Researchers in the Deva-Chaotica found out that if they built a machine that duplicated the energy from the eviance stones that they could awaken more of them and use their energy as artillery and an energy source. With that much firepower they could easily rule the galaxy.They fired the energy wave and activated all of the eviance stones on earth. They all found hosts quickly and they became targets of the Deva-Chaotica.
Now the fight to save the Eviance Stones, the world, and the galaxy has begun.
We'll need some people to fight on the good side(Eviance Stones) AND the bad side(Deva-Chaotica) so I'm gonna make forms for both of them. And if your on the good side, try to be a human because if you're not it wouldn't fit in the storyline very well.... sorry, But if youre on the bad side then you can be whatever you like!
Eviance Stone Form:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Appearance:
Eviance Ability: ( can be pretty much anything, but NO GODMODDING! )
Weapon: I guess you dont have to have one
Description:
Deva-Chaotica Form:
Name:
Race:
Age:
Gender: guess you dont have to have one of these
Appearance:
Ability: ( again, pretty much anything, but NO GODMODDING! )
Weapon: or these...
Description:
but try and have fun!
Rules:
1. NO GODMODDING!
2. Post your profile before starting, use the forms provided.
3. Romance is allowed, but try not to offend anyone. I WILL ban you if you use it excessively.
4. Cursing is allowed. but again try not to offend anyone. I WILL ban you if you use it excessively.
Questions? Comments? PM me plese!