Welcome to Gaia! ::


Kimbley of Chaos
Kato X Yume


Hey Kato, if I asked you to look at a profile I am working on for a different RP and critique it, would you be able to do so? emotion_kirakira



Sure! How would you like it critiqued?

zippypopz's One That Got Away

Loyal Poster

Kato X Yume
Kimbley of Chaos
Kato X Yume


Hey Kato, if I asked you to look at a profile I am working on for a different RP and critique it, would you be able to do so? emotion_kirakira



Sure! How would you like it critiqued?


I was hoping if you could look it over and tell me if it seemed.... Nice? I don't know what word to use. I just want to know if the character sounds alright. There are two or three sections I am still working on so you know. The last three to be exact. Thanks for taking the time to help!

It Will Automatically Take You To Her Profile Once Page Loads.
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
If you cant post at least 2-3 times a day maybe this isn't the rp for you.


Although I haven't had a problem with that so far I know it may be a stretch to ask for 2-3 posts everyday. Just saying... Hope I didn't cross a line sir! *Salutes*


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.
Kimbley of Chaos
Kato X Yume
Kimbley of Chaos
Kato X Yume


Hey Kato, if I asked you to look at a profile I am working on for a different RP and critique it, would you be able to do so? emotion_kirakira



Sure! How would you like it critiqued?


I was hoping if you could look it over and tell me if it seemed.... Nice? I don't know what word to use. I just want to know if the character sounds alright. There are two or three sections I am still working on so you know. The last three to be exact. Thanks for taking the time to help!

It Will Automatically Take You To Her Profile Once Page Loads.


No problem! It's very well written and flows together nicely. I only have two suggestions, but they aren't really very serious. you can choose to apply them or not, your profile so far is still very good.
1: Just know that Unless the RP Leader calls for very detailed back stories, keeping things paraphrased but still detailed is better than making a very long story. If it's too long, people will see it as a task to read and all the important details will go to waste.
2: Mentioning how she is loved. This is probably the most significant part of your character, so mentioning a lot is a good thing! Just make sure you don't over use the concept. Then it gets a little unbelievable in a sense.

These are me just being very nit-picky. With or without these changes, it's very nice!

zippypopz's One That Got Away

Loyal Poster

mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
If you cant post at least 2-3 times a day maybe this isn't the rp for you.


Although I haven't had a problem with that so far I know it may be a stretch to ask for 2-3 posts everyday. Just saying... Hope I didn't cross a line sir! *Salutes*


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.


I mean sometimes people have trouble getting on. Like me usually. School 5 days a week, add on I use my sisters computer....
I don't know anyone else's situation I was just looking out for them. Things are sticky for people usually. Just saying...... Now I shall keep my mouth shut before I say something I will regret.
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
If you cant post at least 2-3 times a day maybe this isn't the rp for you.


Although I haven't had a problem with that so far I know it may be a stretch to ask for 2-3 posts everyday. Just saying... Hope I didn't cross a line sir! *Salutes*


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.


I mean sometimes people have trouble getting on. Like me usually. School 5 days a week, add on I use my sisters computer....
I don't know anyone else's situation I was just looking out for them. Things are sticky for people usually. Just saying...... Now I shall keep my mouth shut before I say something I will regret.


No regrets. Speak your mind, im laid back. I know things get cray cray sometimes. im a father and both myself and my wife work full time jobs. Not having your own computer i can understand.

zippypopz's One That Got Away

Loyal Poster

Kato X Yume
Kimbley of Chaos
Kato X Yume
Kimbley of Chaos
Kato X Yume


Hey Kato, if I asked you to look at a profile I am working on for a different RP and critique it, would you be able to do so? emotion_kirakira



Sure! How would you like it critiqued?


I was hoping if you could look it over and tell me if it seemed.... Nice? I don't know what word to use. I just want to know if the character sounds alright. There are two or three sections I am still working on so you know. The last three to be exact. Thanks for taking the time to help!

It Will Automatically Take You To Her Profile Once Page Loads.


No problem! It's very well written and flows together nicely. I only have two suggestions, but they aren't really very serious. you can choose to apply them or not, your profile so far is still very good.
1: Just know that Unless the RP Leader calls for very detailed back stories, keeping things paraphrased but still detailed is better than making a very long story. If it's too long, people will see it as a task to read and all the important details will go to waste.
2: Mentioning how she is loved. This is probably the most significant part of your character, so mentioning a lot is a good thing! Just make sure you don't over use the concept. Then it gets a little unbelievable in a sense.

These are me just being very nit-picky. With or without these changes, it's very nice!


I actually wrote it like that because from skimming the other character stories they seemed really detailed or something from the portions I did read. Examples (as in their profile thread).

Thank you for your critiquing! I hope I didn't over use the concept? I was trying to use the concept that she is loving, not that she is loved. I didn't realize I wrote that bit in there. o.o

Anyway, thanks again! :3

zippypopz's One That Got Away

Loyal Poster

mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
If you cant post at least 2-3 times a day maybe this isn't the rp for you.


Although I haven't had a problem with that so far I know it may be a stretch to ask for 2-3 posts everyday. Just saying... Hope I didn't cross a line sir! *Salutes*


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.


I mean sometimes people have trouble getting on. Like me usually. School 5 days a week, add on I use my sisters computer....
I don't know anyone else's situation I was just looking out for them. Things are sticky for people usually. Just saying...... Now I shall keep my mouth shut before I say something I will regret.


No regrets. Speak your mind, im laid back. I know things get cray cray sometimes. im a father and both myself and my wife work full time jobs. Not having your own computer i can understand.

Your a dad? Little girl or little boy? How old? Adorable or obnoxious? Looks like you or the mom? How many? eek
So many questions.... Yet not enough.
Kimbley of Chaos


Thank you for your critiquing! I hope I didn't over use the concept? I was trying to use the concept that she is loving, not that she is loved. I didn't realize I wrote that bit in there. o.o

Anyway, thanks again! :3


No problem. Again, that was just me being nit picky, and it's more personal preference. If everyone else was making detailed profiles, then you should definitely be good biggrin !
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
If you cant post at least 2-3 times a day maybe this isn't the rp for you.


Although I haven't had a problem with that so far I know it may be a stretch to ask for 2-3 posts everyday. Just saying... Hope I didn't cross a line sir! *Salutes*


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.


I mean sometimes people have trouble getting on. Like me usually. School 5 days a week, add on I use my sisters computer....
I don't know anyone else's situation I was just looking out for them. Things are sticky for people usually. Just saying...... Now I shall keep my mouth shut before I say something I will regret.


No regrets. Speak your mind, im laid back. I know things get cray cray sometimes. im a father and both myself and my wife work full time jobs. Not having your own computer i can understand.

Your a dad? Little girl or little boy? How old? Adorable or obnoxious? Looks like you or the mom? How many? eek
So many questions.... Yet not enough.

lol yes i am a dad, i have a little boy just turned 1 on the 4th, he can e a mixture of both, looks and even acts just like me. and just the one for now until the wife decides its time to have another.

zippypopz's One That Got Away

Loyal Poster

mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.


I mean sometimes people have trouble getting on. Like me usually. School 5 days a week, add on I use my sisters computer....
I don't know anyone else's situation I was just looking out for them. Things are sticky for people usually. Just saying...... Now I shall keep my mouth shut before I say something I will regret.


No regrets. Speak your mind, im laid back. I know things get cray cray sometimes. im a father and both myself and my wife work full time jobs. Not having your own computer i can understand.

Your a dad? Little girl or little boy? How old? Adorable or obnoxious? Looks like you or the mom? How many? eek
So many questions.... Yet not enough.

lol yes i am a dad, i have a little boy just turned 1 on the 4th, he can e a mixture of both, looks and even acts just like me. and just the one for now until the wife decides its time to have another.

Aww, sounds adorable! I know it may be crossing a personal line, but do you have photos? o.o
Sorry if thats going a bit far, I just like kids (and apparently is still considered a kid myself since I am 14 =w=).

zippypopz's One That Got Away

Loyal Poster

Kato X Yume
Kimbley of Chaos


Thank you for your critiquing! I hope I didn't over use the concept? I was trying to use the concept that she is loving, not that she is loved. I didn't realize I wrote that bit in there. o.o

Anyway, thanks again! :3


No problem. Again, that was just me being nit picky, and it's more personal preference. If everyone else was making detailed profiles, then you should definitely be good biggrin !

Alright, great! :3
Hello everyone!! The name is Aureus!! Nice to meet you all.
Aureus_Vanguard
Hello everyone!! The name is Aureus!! Nice to meet you all.



Salutations, Aureus! Welcome to the party!
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro
Kimbley of Chaos
mightypyro


Nah. its all good 2 post a day seems like it should be easy enough.


I mean sometimes people have trouble getting on. Like me usually. School 5 days a week, add on I use my sisters computer....
I don't know anyone else's situation I was just looking out for them. Things are sticky for people usually. Just saying...... Now I shall keep my mouth shut before I say something I will regret.


No regrets. Speak your mind, im laid back. I know things get cray cray sometimes. im a father and both myself and my wife work full time jobs. Not having your own computer i can understand.

Your a dad? Little girl or little boy? How old? Adorable or obnoxious? Looks like you or the mom? How many? eek
So many questions.... Yet not enough.

lol yes i am a dad, i have a little boy just turned 1 on the 4th, he can e a mixture of both, looks and even acts just like me. and just the one for now until the wife decides its time to have another.

Aww, sounds adorable! I know it may be crossing a personal line, but do you have photos? o.o
Sorry if thats going a bit far, I just like kids (and apparently is still considered a kid myself since I am 14 =w=).
I Will pm a couple later

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum