A Cartoon Palace~ *On Hiatus! ;3*

Cartoon Trivia! According to Grunkle Stan, what is more dangerous than a gun?

Rumble McSkirmish	16.7%	[ 4 ]
Gideon's hair	0.0%	[ 0 ]
A hippie with a guitar	29.2%	[ 7 ]
Waddles	12.5%	[ 3 ]
A ladder	25.0%	[ 6 ]
His fez	4.2%	[ 1 ]
Gnomes	12.5%	[ 3 ]
Total Votes:			[ 24 ]

[Xaos313]

Greteh

take your time~ i think i may edit an item or two; depending on if i can sell a couple items and if i can get some nice fitting art for it

First draft (wanted to get something in writing):

She journeyed forth across the countryside,
a knightess with virtues just and true.
While her soul was considered pristine white,
her hair and garb was a darker hue.

Duel blades were carried upon her back
as she tarried toward the South.
Her body adorned for the ravages of battle,
but a rose lovingly held in her mouth.

[Sakura lady of death]

Xaos, your poem rocks! whee

[Xaos313]

Sakura lady of death

Xaos, your poem rocks! whee

Thanks, Sakura. Overall, I'm pretty pleased with this first attempt. I felt it had a good rhythm to it, and the wording seems to capture the more medieval flavor for which I was aiming.

[Sakura lady of death]

Xaos313

Sakura lady of death

Xaos, your poem rocks! whee

Thanks, Sakura. Overall, I'm pretty pleased with this first attempt. I felt it had a good rhythm to it, and the wording seems to capture the more medieval flavor for which I was aiming.

I feel it does too. You have a way with painting visual scenes with your poetry Xaos. x3 When I saw Greteh was asking you to create a poem for her I had a feeling you'd come up with something awesome fairly quickly. cool

[Sakura lady of death]

Sakura lady of death

Xaos313

Sakura lady of death

Xaos, your poem rocks! whee

Thanks, Sakura. Overall, I'm pretty pleased with this first attempt. I felt it had a good rhythm to it, and the wording seems to capture the more medieval flavor for which I was aiming.

I feel it does too. You have a way with painting visual scenes with your poetry Xaos. x3 When I saw Greteh was asking you to create a poem for her I had a feeling you'd come up with something awesome fairly quickly. cool

Also, I am impressed with how well this turned out since it is the first draft. I have to edit my poems usually a few times before I think they are any good. x3 So way to go!! x33

[Xaos313]

Sakura lady of death

I feel it does too. You have a way with painting visual scenes with your poetry Xaos. x3 When I saw Greteh was asking you to create a poem for her I had a feeling you'd come up with something awesome fairly quickly. cool

Awww... Thanks again, Sakura. That's a very sweet set of compliments. whee

I'm not 100% happy with the poem just yet, but we're always our own toughest critics. Could probably rework many of my poems and stories until I'm old and grey and still not be completely content with them.

However, while trying to maintain a certain level of humility, I have to admit that what I lack in artistic ability is compensated in my aptitude to write.

[Xaos313]

Sakura lady of death

Also, I am impressed with how well this turned out since it is the first draft. I have to edit my poems usually a few times before I think they are any good. x3 So way to go!! x33

Well, after years of reading and writing, it's become a lot easier to sketch out a short story or poem. Admittedly, I made a few tweaks here and there even on this first draft, but it was mostly finding a better word or changing the phrasing to improve the rhythm.

[Ronin ninja gemini]

Xaos313

Greteh

take your time~ i think i may edit an item or two; depending on if i can sell a couple items and if i can get some nice fitting art for it

First draft (wanted to get something in writing):

She journeyed forth across the countryside,
a knightess with virtues just and true.
While her soul was considered pristine white,
her hair and garb was a darker hue.

Duel blades were carried upon her back
as she tarried toward the South.
Her body adorned for the ravages of battle,
but a rose lovingly held in her mouth.

I try to write poetry from time to time none of them sound good compared to yours

[Ronin ninja gemini]

[Greteh]

Xaos313

Greteh

take your time~ i think i may edit an item or two; depending on if i can sell a couple items and if i can get some nice fitting art for it

First draft (wanted to get something in writing):

She journeyed forth across the countryside,
a knightess with virtues just and true.
While her soul was considered pristine white,
her hair and garb was a darker hue.

Duel blades were carried upon her back
as she tarried toward the South.
Her body adorned for the ravages of battle,
but a rose lovingly held in her mouth.

that is beautiful 8D i love it soooo much!!!!

[Ronin ninja gemini]

[Ronin ninja gemini]

[Ronin ninja gemini]

Sakura lady of death

Wow,What's with the hair? it looks nice on ur avi

[Xaos313]

Greteh

that is beautiful 8D i love it soooo much!!!!

Thanks, Greteh! I'm pleased that you liked it. Wasn't initially sure if it would meet with your thoughts and expectations. Will continue to ponder some variations to the prose, but I'm pretty pleased with this version (even if it was the first draft).

If and when your computer gets fixed and you create your artwork, please let me know. Would be willing to revamp the poem again if it'd help match your visual better.

[Xaos313]

Ronin ninja gemini

I try to write poetry from time to time none of them sound good compared to yours

Thanks, man, although I'm sure that your attempts don't pale in comparison by that much. Not to say that I am displeased with the quality of my own work, but we oftentimes tend to critique ourselves far more harshly than somebody else would.