Naita's art contest- OVER! Winners start p. 366!

[Miri-love]

Heh... interesting thing about what you both are saying: I've already given an ultimatum. I've already sort of "left".

But the problem is that I come back ...because I still love him... a lot. And the only thing I want is for him to chase me down and make things better. And he's done that, but making things better never seems to last. And it's hard to accept that if I actually do just leave for good, what very well might happen is that he shrugs and says "alright, peace".

I want to say that I should never change myself, but the truth is that I have asked him to change things for me, too. ...which is unfair.

I'm just struggling because I'm so confused because everything is so inconsistent. gonk

[p3p574r]

Well, it sounds like the 'you leaving' and 'him chasing after you' things are both shallow gestures that you both know aren't true, if he knows you just want him to come save you, and aren't really serious about leaving, he isn't going to take it to heart either. You just have to let go, and see how things turn out. If he says , "alright, peace." then you have to deal with it and learn to accept that your life will probably be a lot more stable without him.

[Allychan90]

Ah, I see... >_< This is similar but different than what happened to me... so I'm sorry if my advice seems childish ^^;

When ever I yell at Rohan... Things get better.... for a week or two.... and then things slide back in to how they were - is this the same way with you?

I highly doubt that he'll be "alright, peace."
He might act like it, but in the inside... @_@; he'll be going nuts. I highly doubt a tthe end of a 4 year relationship he'll just shrug it off.

You can't be hurt if he asks you to change, if you want him to change. My aunt got married about... 16+ years ago - her husband never changed, @_@ and they just got a divorce. Don't do that to yourself.

When Rohan said we didn't have anyhting in common (And then more teenage drama went on, I had a sob fest, and I wrote him a very very very long email) In the email, I wrote a list of stuff we had in common.... at the beggining of the relationship...

Maybe try writing one of those and seeing what you two still enjoy : stick with the easy things? ^^;;; I really don't know what to say.... i'm still slowly trying to figure things out with Rohan half the time.... >_<;

[Miri-love]

p3p574r

Well, it sounds like the 'you leaving' and 'him chasing after you' things are both shallow gestures that you both know aren't true, if he knows you just want him to come save you, and aren't really serious about leaving, he isn't going to take it to heart either. You just have to let go, and see how things turn out. If he says , "alright, peace." then you have to deal with it and learn to accept that your life will probably be a lot more stable without him.

I guess so. But that sucks for me. confused

[Miri-love]

Allychan90

Ah, I see... >_< This is similar but different than what happened to me... so I'm sorry if my advice seems childish ^^;

When ever I yell at Rohan... Things get better.... for a week or two.... and then things slide back in to how they were - is this the same way with you?

I highly doubt that he'll be "alright, peace."
He might act like it, but in the inside... @_@; he'll be going nuts. I highly doubt a tthe end of a 4 year relationship he'll just shrug it off.

You can't be hurt if he asks you to change, if you want him to change. My aunt got married about... 16+ years ago - her husband never changed, @_@ and they just got a divorce. Don't do that to yourself.

When Rohan said we didn't have anyhting in common (And then more teenage drama went on, I had a sob fest, and I wrote him a very very very long email) In the email, I wrote a list of stuff we had in common.... at the beggining of the relationship...

Maybe try writing one of those and seeing what you two still enjoy : stick with the easy things? ^^;;; I really don't know what to say.... i'm still slowly trying to figure things out with Rohan half the time.... >_<;

Yes, it's the same way with me and him.

It's not really that we don't have stuff in common. We just want different things from each other that don't let the situation add up with itself. domokun It's complicated and sticky. gonk

[p3p574r]

[ . Mirage . ]

p3p574r

Well, it sounds like the 'you leaving' and 'him chasing after you' things are both shallow gestures that you both know aren't true, if he knows you just want him to come save you, and aren't really serious about leaving, he isn't going to take it to heart either. You just have to let go, and see how things turn out. If he says , "alright, peace." then you have to deal with it and learn to accept that your life will probably be a lot more stable without him.

I guess so. But that sucks for me. confused

Not as much as coming back 5 months later expecting him to welcome you with open arms, and then finding out he's moved on. Or even that you fall right back into this depressive situation you're in now, which is not healthy for you. sad Sometimes life is hard, you have to meet it with strength twice as hard to get through it, but in the end things'll be better.

[Allychan90]

Then... talk and find one thing in common you both want and work from there?

._. i'm sorry, i'm bad at advice ^^;;;

[p3p574r]

I'm kinda bad at advice, too, because once I feel like someone's getting unjustly hurt, then I get angry and gung ho and want to just go rawrawrawrawrawr and help them. xp

[Miri-love]

p3p574r

[ . Mirage . ]

p3p574r

Well, it sounds like the 'you leaving' and 'him chasing after you' things are both shallow gestures that you both know aren't true, if he knows you just want him to come save you, and aren't really serious about leaving, he isn't going to take it to heart either. You just have to let go, and see how things turn out. If he says , "alright, peace." then you have to deal with it and learn to accept that your life will probably be a lot more stable without him.

I guess so. But that sucks for me. confused

Not as much as coming back 5 months later expecting him to welcome you with open arms, and then finding out he's moved on. Or even that you fall right back into this depressive situation you're in now, which is not healthy for you. sad Sometimes life is hard, you have to meet it with strength twice as hard to get through it, but in the end things'll be better.

He says that that'll never happen. That I'll come back to him, and he'll still be waiting for me. While I know full well that men can say one thing and later do another, I still want to believe that...

But you're right. I really just want to salvage my time with him, leave, and then have some time really away for us to really see where we stand.

[Allychan90]

p3p574r

I'm kinda bad at advice, too, because once I feel like someone's getting unjustly hurt, then I get angry and gung ho and want to just go rawrawrawrawrawr and help them. xp

xd sweatdrop My friends get picked on allllll the time at school and I'm the same exact way. D: Except for then you see short little Allychan90 yelling at Random Football PLayer Number 23....

n_n though most of the time I scare them and they apologize.

>> in this case though, I won't go yell at Mirage's boyfriend ^^;;;;

[Miri-love]

Allychan90

Then... talk and find one thing in common you both want and work from there?

._. i'm sorry, i'm bad at advice ^^;;;

No you're not, that is a good idea.

@ pepstar: Hah, my mom was like that last night when I was really upset. The ice cream place was closed by the time we got there tonight, but we got Peppermint Hot Chocolates and split a cookie from Starbucks, where I work. But she was all rawrawrawr too. But she still likes him and told me that she thinks Italy is just the thing to help us reevaluate the situation. Not that I should break up with him, but just see how it goes. One thing (among many) that is awesome about my mom: my happiness is ALWAYS the most important thing.

[p3p574r]

It's good that you realize that and can look at it from that perspective, that's hard to do when you're tangled up in an emotional relationship. *thumbsup* 3nodding

Edit: Glad you're mom is a good supporting/grounding force in your life. When I went through my boyfriend drama like yours, my mom was totally out of the picture. Now she's more a part of things, and seriously, mothers DO know best. (sometimes rolleyes xp )

[Miri-love]

Thank you guys so much for talking to me - it really really helped *hughug*

[p3p574r]

Good! I'm always happy to help someone, I don't like seeing people bummed.

Note: Know what would cheer everyone up?? surprised

[Allychan90]

Aww, you're welcome ^^

(Listen to pepstar, XD she's wiser lol)

T__T; Rohan works at starbucks, I wanna go yell at his manager though, they work him to much. He's getting sick all the time... he never gets sick. gonk Poor baby....

sweatdrop xd