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Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

          yum_strawberry So I worked on this for about... 5 hours tonight, mainly finishing up on the linework and I'd like to have some critique on it before I continue / go back to fixing up some things I noticed.

          A couple side notes, her calves are big because I was trying to base her on my body type. What I meant by this was, I was trying to fit my avatar on a proportionate body of mine. My calves are thick from lots of moving around, I have a small chest, my figure is almost pear shaped and I have chubby cheeks. I know, most large women have big breasts, I do not. The stereotypical large women is not what my body is and that's not how I decided to draw the lineart. Lots of things are still missing from the finished product ( mainly small details ) so it might be a little confusing for what certain lines are meant for. I finished the linework and fixed up a few things, but I still might go back and fix the hands, they still seem a little awkward. Finished WIP WIP Updated ( Mostly Lineart ) & This is the WIP before the completely lineart, showing the roughs and anatomy underneath. Warning! It's very messy! First WIP
Kuriketto-Hime's avatar

Kawaii Sailor

the anatomy looks a bit weird, but great detail o.o
i could never do that, haha
5 hours!? good lawwwwd. grats to you.
the fingers also look a bit out of proportion, like the middle finger looks incredibly long, but overall, it's pretty and I'm jelly >3>
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

dreambydistance
the anatomy looks a bit weird, but great detail o.o
i could never do that, haha
5 hours!? good lawwwwd. grats to you.
the fingers also look a bit out of proportion, like the middle finger looks incredibly long, but overall, it's pretty and I'm jelly >3>

          yum_strawberry Yeah, my body type is weird. xD That's why the anatomy looks off. And thanks! I got bored and started adding detail in the hair and I... got out of hand apparently. I'm going to fix the hands, I'm sure of it! Gotta do some hand modeling for myself to see how fingers bend and whatnot, they're still a trouble to me. x3
          Thanks for the critiques! It's surely going to be a big help. <3
Your Baconess's avatar

Omnipresent Glitch

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I really like the hair. So much detail! I could never put that much work into a full piece, let alone just a part of it. The feet are too small, but sometimes that's a stylistic choice. The only other thing that look really weird to me is the placement of her cheek, or something in that general area. I can't quite tell what it is, but it looks weird to me :
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

Your Baconess
I really like the hair. So much detail! I could never put that much work into a full piece, let alone just a part of it. The feet are too small, but sometimes that's a stylistic choice. The only other thing that look really weird to me is the placement of her cheek, or something in that general area. I can't quite tell what it is, but it looks weird to me :

          yum_strawberry Could you point out which cheek? As I stated in the first post, I did use my body type for this piece of art and my cheeks are like chipmunks. x3
Your Baconess's avatar

Omnipresent Glitch

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Your Baconess
I really like the hair. So much detail! I could never put that much work into a full piece, let alone just a part of it. The feet are too small, but sometimes that's a stylistic choice. The only other thing that look really weird to me is the placement of her cheek, or something in that general area. I can't quite tell what it is, but it looks weird to me :

          yum_strawberry Could you point out which cheek? As I stated in the first post, I did use my body type for this piece of art and my cheeks are like chipmunks. x3

Oh, er.....the far left (our right) cheek. Not really the cheek, but the little dent where your eyes are pressed in? >.< I don't really know what to say. Hang on, I'll get a pic and show you what I mean...
*Edit* Huh, you know what? I drew some construction lines over the fact and the cheek is actually where it's supposed to be....Something just looks weird to me :/
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

Your Baconess
- - Synxified
Your Baconess
I really like the hair. So much detail! I could never put that much work into a full piece, let alone just a part of it. The feet are too small, but sometimes that's a stylistic choice. The only other thing that look really weird to me is the placement of her cheek, or something in that general area. I can't quite tell what it is, but it looks weird to me :

          yum_strawberry Could you point out which cheek? As I stated in the first post, I did use my body type for this piece of art and my cheeks are like chipmunks. x3

Oh, er.....the far left (our right) cheek. Not really the cheek, but the little dent where your eyes are pressed in? >.< I don't really know what to say. Hang on, I'll get a pic and show you what I mean...
*Edit* Huh, you know what? I drew some construction lines over the fact and the cheek is actually where it's supposed to be....Something just looks weird to me :/

          yum_strawberry Maybe it's the eye bandage?
RIP Nervy Pinja's avatar

Receiver

Her feet look like the result of a chinese foot binding
foot to knee angle: she has no knee.
Looking at your first wip, those knees are misplaced.

plus points for use of a stockier figure. but plus size women have plus sized boobs, otherwise, it's just awkward to look at.
I think overall it's very cute. The feet do look a bit small though, and I think you could vary your line weight a bit more. Like, make areas of shadow have thicker lines, and areas of light and detail have thinner ones. The bottom part of the hair also looks a bit off to me. You did great on the upper part, but on the bottom, it looks as if all the different strands of hair are just drawn on as a texture rather than making up the form of the hair itself. I think line weight could help fix this, although a bit of tweaking to the lines might be in order.
Akai Torikago's avatar

Dapper Noob

I really like your style of art, you have a talent my friend. Keep it up.
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

Nervy Pinja
Her feet look like the result of a chinese foot binding
foot to knee angle: she has no knee.
Looking at your first wip, those knees are misplaced.

plus points for use of a stockier figure. but plus size women have plus sized boobs, otherwise, it's just awkward to look at.



          yum_strawberry I'm planning on resizing and remodeling the feet, just to make the movements look more natural and I don't have plus sized boobs though. I have that weird body type where boobs don't exist but curves happen elsewhere.
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

Gallieda
I think overall it's very cute. The feet do look a bit small though, and I think you could vary your line weight a bit more. Like, make areas of shadow have thicker lines, and areas of light and detail have thinner ones. The bottom part of the hair also looks a bit off to me. You did great on the upper part, but on the bottom, it looks as if all the different strands of hair are just drawn on as a texture rather than making up the form of the hair itself. I think line weight could help fix this, although a bit of tweaking to the lines might be in order.

          yum_strawberry I'll probably go back and add thicker lines where they should be and use thinner lines for the finer details, like stitching and the lines for the collar of the cardigan. I'll fix up the bottom part of the hair to make it look for natural, too. Some parts were bothering me and I got rid of them already. The feet will be fixed up soon enough. The right foot was a practice at fore-shortening with a slight angle of the foot turned in. Thanks for the critic! It helps very much.
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

Shiroi Torikago
I really like your style of art, you have a talent my friend. Keep it up.

          yum_strawberry Oh. Why thank you! This is actually my first time trying to do art in this way rather than the normal anime style. Definitely will keep it up 'cause I love how this works.
Nephsech's avatar

Dangerous Gekko

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Ring finger is too short, it tends to be a tiny bit longer than the index finger ^^
Memoriii's avatar

Loved Raider

Nephsech
Ring finger is too short, it tends to be a tiny bit longer than the index finger ^^

          yum_strawberry On the left hand in the drawing?

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