I Have an Online Manga

[melaniemon]

Nice art

[Kabukiyasha]

Reasonably good quality art, not sure about story since it seems incomplete as someone said.
Story is very important aye, but also, the art captures the eye first, so for first impressions I'd stick with art as the choice, for lasting impressions though... aye, got to engage and keep it.

May I recommend using some tones and possible slight more variation between panel border thickness + lineart thickness.