Megathread! (ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?)

[Amor Vincit]

Okay, I'm gonna move on to some quotes!

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." - Margaret Mead

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"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." -Steve Martin

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"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." -Jim Carrey

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"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday." -Winnie the Pooh

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"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff." -Anonymous

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde

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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." - Stephen Wright

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"I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities.

Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population?

That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like 'Look at all the minorities around here!'" -Louis C.K.

[Amor Vincit]

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

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"It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious." -Bill Hicks

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"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century." -Dame Edna Everage

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"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut." -Will Rogers

[Amor Vincit]

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night." - Charlie Brown

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"If God wanted us to bend over, He'd put diamonds on the floor." -Joan Rivers

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"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'" -Stephen Colbert