• I see you and I'm jealous
    You radiate confidence
    You're surrounded by love
    You're looked up to
    I'm ashamed of myself
    I shouldn't be acting so childish
    I shouldn't care
    My emotions should shut themselves off,
    Like normal
    But you turn on my feelings
    You make me feel sad
    When you look my way
    Then turn and kiss him
    I feel like crying.
    I have no idea why,
    But it creates an unbearable pain
    A pain in my heart
    It pulls at me
    It tears at me
    Could it just be me?
    No, I don't think so
    The way you look at me to
    It confuses me to no end
    I can't understand it
    The way you look at me
    It's the same way you look at them
    The one's you love
    The one's you crush on
    I can't help but wonder
    Is it really just me?
    Do you not feel the same?
    Could you not have the same pain,
    The same tug
    As I have
    The one that pulls me to you
    Makes me want to stay by you
    Forever
    But that won't work
    I'm not the bride
    I'm but the bridesmaid
    Standing on the sidelines
    Never there myself
    I watch
    And I can't make sense of what I see
    I can't figure it out
    I hate it
    I can't get over the tug you have on me
    Not even enough to create another
    To feel another
    I can't get over you
    Not enough to feel for another
    But I can't be any more than the Best Friend
    Nope
    Nothing more
    I wish I could kill the tug
    I could have somebody else
    I could choose
    But I can't
    The tug never goes away
    No matter how I try
    No matter how I beg and plead
    And no matter what
    You go on looking at me like you love me
    Then turning away
    And sharing that look with somebody else
    But that's the person who has you and the look
    I know I should be happy
    I get to be around you
    I'm your best friend
    I'm the one you'll always come back to
    You could date the whole world
    As many times as you like
    And I'd still be the one you come back to
    I'd still be your best friend
    But how long will that last?
    How many boys will you put me over
    What happens when you "Fall in love"?
    What happens to me when I complain?
    Would I still be kept close?
    Or
    Would you finally throw me away
    So you can keep your lover?
    Right now I'm put above all others
    But how long will that last
    When will you finally get over it
    Decide I'm more trouble than you want
    What happens if I get tired of it?
    If I get tired of being the best friend
    Unable to see anybody else with the same light as you?
    When you blind me with your brilliance
    When my vision becomes clouded
    And I've given up everything else?
    Everything else but you
    Cut myself off from feelings
    Closed my eye to all light
    Shut off all my scences
    Just so I can get through the wedding
    As the Maid of Honor
    Not the bride
    Smiling
    Staying happy for you
    Not crying
    Not breaking down
    Not running away
    Same as now
    Finally accepting myself
    As I am
    First thing I do is fall
    Into like
    Into love
    It makes me wonder
    What if it never happened?
    What if I hadn't seen you
    What if I hadn't talked to you
    I can't think of an answer
    Because you've become a part of me
    A big part of me
    You the part that
    Shows my brightest smiles
    Earns my most genuine laughter
    Makes me do my best no matter what
    I can't help but wonder
    What if it never happened?
    Would somebody else be my smiles
    my laughter?
    Somehow I don't think so
    I don't know why
    I don't know how
    But this tug has gotten stronger
    And stronger
    And it hurts
    How long before it's to much?
    And I can no longer take it,
    More than that though
    What will you do if it does happen?
    What will you do?
    If I leave?
    Will you cry and get over it
    Would you even cry?