Black Rose

• Artist: xx_Cassie_Rox_Ur_World_xx
• Description: its a sad poem that i made up on the spot i dont know y but i think its pretty good
• Date: 06/18/2009
• Tags: black rose

Roses in my garden
reaching out to me
they beg my parden
i shall not take
i will not shake
the last of thy black roses

they yearn and moan
wishing to be picked
hear them groan
as i pass by
will no one sing them a lullaby
sweet black rose
i shall not pick thee
but other roses think otherwise

They plot and scheme
after the scene
of thy black rose and i
i walk by thy roses
all drooping low
a sad tear rolls down their petals

I go to thy roses
they have wilted away
i turn as the last black rose
drops its last black petal

Comments

[Glympse of Fate]

I think you wrote a good poem. Rather than focusing on yourself as a single entity, you focus on the how the flowers affect you, and you show this relationship, rather than telling the reader about it. A couple constructive criticisms however: use punctuation and capitals. You can control the flow of the poem better with the appropriate and artistic use of punctuation.

[xx_Cassie_Rox_Ur_World_xx]

thx

[Marionette_Mentation]

is very demonic yet at the same time i felt lonely while reading. very good. comment back please. ^.^