• The title may sound horrible, but I'm dead serious. There is a reason for rape bringing "shame" to its victims in more than one way. It's the lack of evidence versus the claim that starts all of this, so if you have LOTS of evidence that will hold in court, go ahead and tell people.

    It's understandable that people recommend that you talk to someone about the pain you are going through after a rape, but if people who knows you (Yes, even your closest friends.) find out that you were raped, they will ******** up your life so bad that that little rape will seem insignificant in comparison.

    This is how things go down:
    - If you tell them that you were raped, they will grow very concerned.
    - If they grow concerned, they will start to wonder about it.
    - If they start to wonder about it, they will start to talk to others (their friends or parents) about it.
    - Your story will spread in this way, and while doing so, it will become distorted.
    - Some people who don't know you too well, will find your claim so bold that they will wonder if you are only out to get attention and sympathy.
    - People around you, whether it is out of curiousity or just to defend you, will go all Nancy Drew on you, and start to investigate whether you are guilty or innocent of lying. (To them it's an exciting detective game and something to talk about.)
    - This will happen on a subject that you are all torn up about. You will naturally appear weird about the subject in some way.
    - Anything out of the ordinary, that does not fit into the stereotypical fantasy image of a completely innocent rape victim to ANYONE, will make you look guilty. Seeing a shrink about the subject will make you look insane.
    - The less dirt they find on you, the harder they will look for SOMETHING to report, and will only dig up, and even make up, MORE circumstancial s**t about you that will be spread and talked about, and that in the end will make you look guilty by association.
    - By now, if this drama circus has been sufficiently fed, two kinds of people will latch on to it: Psychopaths looking to charm people into believing that they're white knights, and people who are just generally unstable about the subject of rape, and they will both go: "Burn the witch.", for instance "Torture him/her slowly, make his/her life hell." In the very best case, you will get half of these psychopath stalkers against you. They will seek you up where you live and try to break into your house, or alternatively try to find ways to seduce you, and in the end try to rape you "so that you will learn what it feels like".
    - You are looking at lots of people fanatically dedicated to destroying your life, including your former friends. They will aid your attacker in any way they can, so if he's out to get revenge on you for telling on him, he is going to get it.

    I've survived ten years of this s**t. My best friend actually became good friends with my rapist behind my back, and everything I told him, he told him, and that's just one of many, many things.
    Don't let this happen to you.