• Brand of soap at the woman's shelter: Life. Oh the irony.

    Hello brain, I’d like to write a short story.

    Well, alright. What kind?

    Um. I dunno. I’ve never been too good at writing them.

    Judging by that sentence, I can see why. Well, you just take a simple conflict and solve it in a meaningful or memorable way. That way the short story will have impact.

    But I always have so much trouble thinking of a simple conflict; I go too much into detail with anything.

    That’s your problem. Ok, I’m being too hard on you. It’s not a problem per say, you just need to train yourself to be simple sometimes. Like that time you wore a pot on your head to school.

    Hey! Don’t bring that up here, I’m looking for advice!

    Well, I’m giving it to you. I know you like tearing concepts into pieces and examining them from every angle, but sometimes short and precise can be better.

    Yeah, that’s what I think too. That is why I wanted to expand my writing style, because with that approach I can solve any problem and get out any thought in the best way possible!

    Don’t get ahead of yourself; it takes practice. You may write ten, twenty short stories before you’re even satisfied with one.

    Well, that’s not very encouraging!

    I’m not denying talent, but everything takes practice before you learn, right? It used to take you ten minutes to put your hair in a ponytail but after repetition you learned how to do it without even thinking or worrying about it.

    I guess that’s true. But how do I choose a topic?

    Well, I think it’s best to write about something you’re passionate about. That always seems to be easiest and come out the best. Or, write about something you have fun writing about, or know a lot about beforehand so you do not have to research.

    Good. I don’t have time for research right now.

    Remember not to ignore research though. Broadening your knowledge and horizons adds depth to writing. Alright. Have any ideas yet?
    How about a rhinoceros that goes to the dentist because he has a horn-ache and they send him off because they don’t cover horn-related mishaps so the rhinoceros goes to court in an Armani suit to receive equal horn benefits because it’s not fair that just because he works in a factory full of hippos he shouldn’t get any horn coverage.

    …That’s an interesting take. The Armani suit is a nice addition. See? You could write a short story now if you wanted to. Just remember that although ideas may flow freely, your story should be written with proper sentences and paragraph format. Give it a few tries and see how it goes. If you have any questions, you know where I am.

    My skull-ula.

    Yes, Janine. Just don’t contact me in REM mode. I’ll probably just produce a massive cola-guzzling Ewok with a band of hippie fluorescent polka dots talking politics, and you know how that goes.

    Don’t remind me...Thanks brain!

    No problem. Keep in touch?

    If I have time outside the wonderful world of creative writing and Janine-esqueness.

    Meh, works for me. I don’t like overtime anyways.