How was I suppose to survive with this huge burden on my shoulders? How can I live with myself, when my whole life is a lie? How was that suppose to work?
As I sit there, staring out aimlessly through the window, I think about all the things thats happened that have changed my life drastically. My mother, Danielle Celeste Wilson, has been keeping a secret from me and my father, Freddie Gideon Russo, that only She, The person involved, and I know about. However, she doesn't know that I know shes having an affair with my dad. Shes just as clueless a** my father.
But I'm just as clueless as them too. But for a different reason. I'm not sure what to do. Should I tell my father, and risk either seeing him extremley hurt, or never earning his trust, because he thinks I shouldn't be lieing about these type of things? Even if I wasn't? Or should I keep it from him. So he wont get hurt, and nothing bad will happen. But then, I'll feel guilty everytime I look into his eyes. And what if he finds out by himself? Isn't that worse?
I wish my mother hasn't did this. But I can't really say I hate her. I love my mother. But how can she do this to me? To my father? To us, to our family? Why would she do it? Has her and dad, not been on the best level? Are they fighting? Or is it something more.... seductivley. Is she not getting enough action from his? Is she feeling the need to do it with someone else? If so, is it because she wants to feel young again? Or dose she just want to feel the pain and pleasure? Or is it that shes so mad at him, she'll have a physical affair with someone else behind his back? If thats the case, than I cannot imagine why.
I shrug the though away. I never thought of my mom as a sluttish person. And I don't believe that is why she'll cheat on my dad in the first place.
Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe my mom wasn't cheating on my dad. But then why did I see her locking lips with someone who looked no younger than 25? And my moms 42. This is mystery that I, Beonce Leona Russo, have yet to solve.
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