The words that killed me
So here is how my sad but short story went, it started with Ummmmmmm...........that’s all I could think of so I put that in, than asked if I could ask him something. Odd but it was me. “ummmmm can I ask you something?” I texted, my heart pounding when I pressed send.
“Sure go ahead” he texted back a miniate later.
“Ummm do you” I texted back. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack, and I couldn’t finish.
I can’t believe I was doing this I started to remember what my friends had said to me earlier that day ‘just ask him out it wont kill you ’ Kayla was urging me during P.E. just this day ‘I cant, I just don’t want to date anyone’ I said trying to get away from the subject seeing as how It was on me which I usually liked but I didn’t today. ‘Why not? Dose your mom not want you to date?’ she asked trying to catch up to me as I started to walk a little faster. I sighed and turned to face her as she came to a abrupt halt ‘no well yes but it complex ok just forget about it ‘key’
“yea?” he said after another miniate of me think about how I can still get out of this by just asking him if I could barrow a CD and how I got in to it buy me being a pudden-head.
“ do um...do you want I go out with um...with me” I texted back and pressed sent befor I be came sain again.
‘Do you like phil’ Courtney asked me as I walk away for just finishing a quickie conversation with phil in the halls before seventh period ‘no’ I said almost yelling and answering to quickly that it sounded like I did which I did but I didn’t want anyone to know. ‘Yea sure ok but you look so cute together you should ask him out’ she then sped away before I could object.
“um Christina I don’t like you that way” no thank you no sorry just the four words that always killed me growing up ‘I don’t like you’ it came in different ways, friend ships lovers and the people I don’t like anyway but they still killed me I had heard them often and all my life I just always wished it wouldn’t always hurt so much.
“No its fine I wouldn’t have asked you out anyway if it weren’t fo never mind bye phil.”I pressed sent turned off the phone and put it in my pocket. I couldn’t cry I was kid-siting (baby-siting) and I didn’t want to let my sister and her friends to see me cry so I sucked it up and promised myself I wouldn’t cry during the holidays. I didn’t I kept it in even when I was safe in my own home and locked away in my room I didn’t cry. You knew this was going to happen Christina face it this was why you didn’t date you always seemed to set your self up to jump of a cliff, and you were always set to fall and you keep thinking someone is going to catch you when they never do.
Until someone did.
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