• In this, desolate hour in which this feelings of emptiness and nothingness have taken me prisoner. I am now desperate. This feeling….this, this thing called boredom consumes me, twisting and constricting its black hand out towards my throat and strangling me until at last I have succumb to its will. Its will? Its will is to get on this machine…..this machine in which I sit in front of cannot compare with the new technological advances that have appeared on the scene but alas, a computer lies in front of me. I am currently attempting to awaken this computer from its slumber but it takes a minute. Boredom drives me mad insane they might say….pacing, pacing the floor steadily it increases faster until looking up and the screen lit with blue light of the home page. Epiphany! It strikes me once, twice, three times… Tim’s Birthday is today. Oh gosh? He wants me to go and hang with him and act as if I care but how can I and why should I? He cares less about his own birthday and life than anyone I‘ve ever known; However the human nature of this now sixteen year old boy expects me to care when he doesn‘t. Even though I know, it is irrational I have come to care very deeply about this boy although I know he is leaving me shortly. The truth is as much as I say I don’t, I do care; I have to because I do this boy. He has become apart of me an apart that is not easy detached. I prepare now for the day that he leaves. I am trying steadily to let go…..but not completely. I’m not ready. How can I be?