• My leg got blown off during the Tet offensive, and I was looking for some special Vietnamese hooker to take the edge off. So I grabbed a handful of the weed I stole off a local farmer's drying rack and made myself a camp fire. I took my double barrel and broke it down. I took the biggest breath of that good s**t right through the barrel I launch death from. Hookers were instantly everywhere, and ready to please, at that. Foreplay in Nam was just a way to make sure they didn't have no razors up their p***y, but this time I was too ready. Caveat emptor.

    My d**k was torn to shreds and I murdered every one of those whores, one leg blown off be damned. The strange thing was that their corpses all looked like children, and when I was done, my d**k was fine again. It's true that the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.