The springs in the airplane chair made a squeaking sound every time the little boy behind Anubis's feet collided into the jackal-god's seat, said god's patience growing thinner and thinner with each collision.
"But I wanted the cherry snow cone, mommy!" the child whined, "Cherry! Not lime, cherry! Cherry! Cherry! Cherry!"
The kicking altered to the beat of the whining, each kick coinciding with a "cherry." Evidently, the boy's mother was used to this kind of behavior, and didn't so much as ruffle the magazine she held in front of her face. Somehow, this just made it all the worse for Anubis, and he finally bended around to the seat in front of him where his cousin sat.
No response, what with the headphones cover the falcon-god's ears and his mismatched eyes glued to the screen built into the back of the seat in front of him. He looked quite comfortable, evidently enjoying his ride.
Anubis punched his arm.
"Ow!" he took the headphones off, "What?"
"I am dying back here…"
"You should be used to death by now."
"That's not funny. Listen to this kid…" Anubis hissed under his breath, and Horus bended over to observe the scene.
"Mommy! Moooooommy!" the child screamed so loud, tears started to form in his eyes. "I wanted the cherry! I wanted it! I hate you mommy! I hate you! I wanna go home! I want cherry!"
Reaching the pique of his tantrum, the brat began to shake, thrash, and convulse himself while screaming unintelligibly. His small limbs flew everywhere, hitting himself, his mother, Anubis's seat, and even the seat next to Anubis's that held Sobek. For most of the flight, Sobek had been able to miraculously lull himself into a peaceful-looking nap despite the incessant nonsense from the boy behind them (an ability Anubis currently envied). However, despite all the rock-hard slumber he had endured before, even the crocodile-god finally snapped his eyes open. He partially bared his teeth, letting loose a low growl.
Sitting up, Sobek turned around in his seat. "Hey lady!" he snapped at the mother, "Why don't you pull your nose out of that garbage and start controlling that little gremlin of yours?!"
This caught the woman's attention, and she pulled the magazine away from her face. "What did you just call my son?" Danger glinted in her eyes.
"A little gremlin," hissed Sobek, unafraid.
Anubis's mouth jaw fell open, and he then buried his head in his hands. "Oh Ra, please no…"
"Oh, I'll have you know-", "'Victoria's Secret' can wait, can't it-", "File for harassment-", "Terrible brat-"….
So it was on. Back and forth the god and the mortal lady bantered on, attracting the less-than-savory attention of the other passengers. Anubis turned to Horus, who currently wore a strained expression as if to say, 'Ick…'
"Well. Would you look at that," said Horus.
"I know, right?"
"Mmmm. Well good luck with that!" Horus turned around and put his headphones back on, returning to the television.
"What?! Horus!" Anubis was shocked, but shock soon gave way too extreme annoyance. Here he had Sobek screaming, the kid screaming, the woman screaming, and his own cousin didn't even care? Well, payback was a cruel mistress, and Anubis knew her well. His black boot came into contact with the back of Horus's seat.
"Ow!" the falcon-god took off the headphones, "What the hell, man?!"
"Oh, these seats, they're just so close together, you know? I need to stretch my legs occasionally."
"Anubis, I can't help you! What do you want me to do about it?"
Next to Anubis, Sobek suddenly reached over and swiped the cherry snow cone right out of the little boy's hands. He then proceeded to lick it slowly with exaggerated enjoyment, just to spite the child. "Mmm-mm!" he said, "Wow, you sure are missing out kid! This is probably the best snow cone I've ever had! Thanks for letting me have it!"
"Nooooooooooo!" screamed the kid, his pudgy little face turning red. Anubis swore he'd heard demons with sweeter voices than that. "THAT'S MINE! THAT'S MINE! THAT. IS. MIIIIIINE!"
"Hey, punk!" a man from the seat on the other side of aisle butted in, "Would you stop being a little smart a** and pick on someone your size?!"
"Pick on?! Wow, you ageist!" snapped Sobek, "This little spawn of Hell has been ruining my flight ever since the damn plane took off, and just because I'm the only who dares to tell him to shut his trap, suddenly I'm the bad guy?"
Ohhh Ra, just shut up, shut up, shut up, you're making things so much worse, thought Anubis.
"Easy, So'," said Horus with a soothing voice, "Come on, it's not that important. Just give back the snow cone…"
"No, it's mine now!" Sobek held his chin up stubbornly, never being the type to go down quietly, even for something as petty as a toddler on an airline flight.
"Wow, stealing candy from kids, is this what today's youth have resorted to?" the man shook his head.
"Wow, never disciplining brats and letting them run rampant, is this what today's parents have come to- ACK!" Sobek's mocking was cut short by the mother grabbing the collar of his shirt and beating him over the head with her purse. This seemed to be just the thing her son needed to feel better, because a grin formed across his face as he pumped his little fists in the air and cheered, "Go Mommy go! Go Mommy go!"
"Please ma'am, no!" Horus tried to stop the situation by grabbing the other end of Sobek's collar and pulling towards him.
"GEEE…" choked Sobek.
"Stop it, you two are choking him!" jumped in Bastet, who had been sitting next to Horus. She responded her own way by wrapping her arms under Sobek's shoulders and pulling him towards herself, creating a third direction for the poor crocodile-god to be stretched in.
The scene had disturbed more than a few passengers, and several men and women mortals had started to rile up and take sides of the struggle, all attempting to scream over each other and occasionally breaking off into separate arguments all together.
Anubis hid in the bathroom.
He just couldn't take it anymore. If there was one thing the death god refused to do in this immortal life, it was put up with other people's crap… and ironically enough, the plane's restroom had been the only place he could find to get away from said crap.
"Ugh…" he let his head bang against the wall, and took a deep breath, allowing himself to relax
"Hm?" Anubis reached into his pocket and pulled out a device that resembled a cellphone, a black, "old-fashioned" flip-phone with a little chibi-skeleton keychain on its antenna. He answered it. "Hello?"
"Where are you?" said a deep man's voice.
Anubis sighed with relief. "Hi Osiris, we're fine. Just going out for a bit."
"Going out? Anubis, where are you kids, I can't sense you anywhere in Egypt."
The young god stretched his legs as far as he could in the tiny bathroom, "We're going to New York, it's in America."
"New York? Anubis, was this Horus's idea?! Because if it was, you don't have to be afraid to-"
"No, no," calmed Anubis, "Naw, we're just fine, okay? Horus hasn't been physically forcing us to go places for centuries. He's matured past that." Barely.
There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment, before Osiris let out a sigh.
"… Alright then. Just be home at least within a week, you all have work to do."
"Fine, fine, bye."
"Stay safe. Good-bye."
He hung up, and soon after, Anubis unfortunately found himself having to return to his seat for the landing. 'Stay safe'… yeah, right. If only.
- Title: The Gods Get Out, Ep. 1, Pt. 3
- Artist: MagentaMist
- Description: It's been thousands of years since the Gods of Egypt even held a candle to their former glory, now considered mythology rather than a serious religion. Horus decides that it's about time his friends and him do something fun, since it doesn't seem they're going to have any Godly responsibilities anytime soon. So he, Anubis, Bastet, and Sobek embark on a journey to a mysterious, and legendary land... something the traders whisper, "New York City..."
- Date: 11/18/2012
- Tags: egypt horus anubis sobek bastet
- Reference Image: