Musical Love

• Artist: Stony Angel
• Description: Quickwrite for a story.hope u like
• Date: 06/23/2012
• Tags: musical love

There was once a winged girl who loved to sing.There was also a boy who loved music,but he was mute.One day the boy heard the girl's voice as he walked down the beach by his village.She stood on a ledge overlooking the sea.Her voice was so pretty.......He drew his flute and began to play.The girl heard him and stopped,embrassed someone found her.She flew down to the boy,who stopped playing"You play beautifully.Whats your name?"He didn't respond.He just looked away."I'm Aiemo"she smiled
"Come on,tell me your name"She insisted until he finally turned back.
His lips moved and he spoke the first words since his accident 12 years ago."My name is........Gin"

Comments

[vv7722]

Good start. I'd really like it to be longer! :3

[Purple Fluffy Pancake]

The story is gonna be strong,but the punctuation is what caught me.Too many periods when you could've just put "..." instead of "........"
And spaces next to the " make it look less cramped.All in all,if I could,I would've put 4.9/5 Just work on your punctuation.Instead,I put 5/5. XD