Johan Wagner slowly removed his shirt, breathing slowly and in length, dragging out each breath as long as possible. His mouth was ever-so-slightly open to let each ragged breath escape, his deep-set brown eyes gazed ahead, almost as though they were in a daze, not focused on anything in particular.
He stretched his thin, muscular body out, extending his arms straight up, using his abdominal muscles to wiggle his way out of his shirt.
"Mein Gott…it's a hot one today…", he whispered, still breathing heavily. "But I suppose you're used to the heat, Ricardo." He placed his hands on his hips, his fingertips only slightly touching his pants. "You gotta come and help me out…it's so hot out…You gotta come and help me, Ricardo….it's unbearable…." He extended his body across the bed, and clicked the video camera 'off'.
Ricardo Rizzo was in his apartment, making himself breakfast.
As he was frying his eggs, he thought of the night before, about how hostile Johan got when he wanted to have a say in the relationship…but then again, Ricardo had immensely enjoyed his time with Johan; perhaps it was best that he obey whatever he says.
Tears filled up in his eyes; he was getting scared that their brief flings were turning into something psychological, not merely physical.
'He's taking over my thoughts, he's in control of my actions…I'm starting to become his…his toy, his pet.'
'…And this is wrong…I made a promise to the Church that I would remain celibate. I promised!'
He stood there, his tears dripping into the frying pan, making it hiss in response.
Soon enough, the eggs were done. He got out a spatula and flopped the eggs onto a plate. He grabbed the salt and pepper shaker nearby, then heard a small thud coming from his front door.
"The mail…" said Ricardo, dropping the salt shaker, leaving a small pile of salt to accumulate on the counter.
At the foot of his door were bills, letters from parishioners, the daily newspaper…and a small package. Curious, he picked up the small pile of mail and went inside.
He sat at the table, and inspected it.
Mein Schatz ♥
There was no return address, but he was pretty sure who it was.
He slowly opened it up, his breathing heavy with apprehension.
It was a video tape.
'What's Johan up to now…' thought Ricardo, staring at the tape, 'I shouldn't watch it…I don't want to get extremely attached to him…'
"Who am I kidding?", he mumbled, grabbing the video tape and walking over to his bedroom in defeat.
He walked into his bedroom, shut the door, and pushed in the tape into his VCR.
Johan appeared on the television set; he was sitting pretzel style on his bed. He then started to take off his shirt.
Ricardo's heart beat seemingly a thousand miles an hour as Johan slowly took off his thin white undershirt.
As Johan started to speak in that low, deep, (and in that video, erotic) voice, Ricardo gasped; he couldn't watch any more of this.
As Johan placed his fingertips on his hips, Ricardo's entire body quivered.
"You gotta come help me, Ricardo….it's unbearable…"
"Oh…Blessed Virgin, what is wrong with me..." he muttered, running his hands through his thick, curly black hair.
Ricardo wanted Johan with all his will.
He knew it was wrong.
He knew he should not be doing this.
He knew that he was slowly starting to become extremely disgusted with himself.
But Johan was more important than all of these feelings combined.
Johan was beginning to seem like a drug; a quality about him made Ricardo fill up with ecstasy, joy and lust every time he saw or thought of him.
But he had to get ready for mass. He didn't want to go, he just wanted to be with Johan. He started to cry hysterically; he just wanted him so bad, and he felt so disgusting at the same time.
He took off his glasses, and rubbed them dry with his shirt; the tears on the lens were starting to obstruct his vision.
"Soon as mass is over, I'm going to find Johan in the rectory, don't worry, it's only an hour…" Ricardo told himself, fastening on his priest's collar.
He finished his eggs, and left the small living quarters that the Church provided for him, walking only several hundred feet to the Cathedral.
It was a bright, beautiful, and busy Sunday morning in Munich; cars whizzed by the cathedral, blaring loud, rather inappropriate music.
'I guess I don't really have any room to talk about immorality anymore…' Ricardo thought, sighing as he opened the back door to the cathedral.
He walked into the small preparation room (where all of the communion wafers, wine, and priests robes are), and held his breath, coming to a complete halt.
There was Johan.
Taking off his priest robes.
Johan had his back turned to him, folding up his robes.
Ricardo was absolutely silent, holding in his breath.
Johan turned around, apparently to grab something nearby…
And saw Ricardo.
His eyes widened in surprise for a millisecond, then he relaxed, grinning wide, walking slowly towards Ricardo.
"I can't believe that I had to preach the 8:00 A.M. mass! What a surprise! Father Bauer wasn't feeling too well today; I believe he has the flu. How odd that is it that he gets the flu in the middle of July, isn't it, Ricardo?"
"Eh…" Ricardo managed to let out, his face turning a deep shade of crimson.
Johan placed his hands on Ricardo's shoulders, and leaned in; his nose touching Ricardo's.
"I'm still very hot, Ricardo. I've been waiting for a couple days; I could just die from heat exhaustion…you know what I'm saying?" Johan whispered, placing his palms on Ricardo's chin.
"Uh…um…Johan….I have to get ready for mass…", Ricardo stuttered, although he desperately wanted to stay behind with Johan.
"We got thirty minutes…", Johan mumbled, pushing down on Ricardo's arms; forcing him to the ground, "Plenty of time…"
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