• Chapter Four: Don’t Fight These Hands That Are Holding You

    They walked side by side down the streets. Mai-lynn directed the way home, making it so that they took the longest route.
    Their pace was steady, in no hurry to be anywhere. To anyone who bothered to pay them any mind, the two probably looked like great friends.
    “Why don’t we get to know each other?” Joshua had suggested when they began their walk to Mai-lynn’s apartment.
    She had paused momentarily. “Uh…sure,” she replied not exactly sure what he was meaning by that.
    “Okay,” he said smiling. “What is Mai-lynn’s favourite color?” He asked.
    The simple question threw her off. “Purple. Dark purple to be exact,” she answered glancing at him. She didn’t think that was what he had meant he suggested “getting to know each other”.
    He nodded, returning her glance. “Hmm…Mine’s green, I find it refreshing, new, clean,” he said.
    Mai-lynn shot him an interested look. This guy seemed different from the others. He had a worth while personality, maybe even a soul. Just maybe. How could that be? Were there drugs that could make you act so, normal?
    He laughed softly and shrugged. “And now you think I’m crazy for having such an opinion on a color, right?”
    She shook her head, smiling at him. “Interesting, not crazy,” she replied.

    __


    Conversation continued easily after that. They were sharing pointless facts about themselves. Things like favourite food, best type of music and even school came up a few times. She learned that he was really interested in theatre, and even went to one of the Arts schools. This at least explained the way he spoke.
    They had been walking for close to twenty minutes and were only about halfway there.
    That was if they continued walking the same route. Mai-lynn could easily direct them to a different way to her home. With each word that flowed from her mouth, she felt a little more comfortable around him. While every word of his that drifted to her ears made her feel less suspicious. Yet even more confused.
    Mai-lynn paused in front of a store. Her brother worked there. She visited him here quite often after school on her way home.
    The lights in the store were off so there was no chance Caleb was working there tonight.
    A thought crossed her mind, wondering exactly what time it was.
    “Lost something in the pawn shop, my dear?” Joshua asked chuckling, standing by her side.
    She shook her head. “No…my brother just works here, sometimes,” she said.
    Her hand slipped into her pocket and she took out her phone.
    The digital clock read, 12:03 a.m.
    A surprised look crossed her face. “Wow, didn’t know it was so late,” she said, showing him the time.
    “Don’t have to be home at a certain time, do you?” he asked, looking just as surprised at the time.
    “Nope. You?”
    Joshua shook his head, “Nah.”
    She was about to put her phone away when she noticed an icon in the corner, indicating she had a message.
    She must have been so caught up in talking she hadn’t noticed, she thought while opening the message. Her guess what that it would be Jamie asking why she had left but it wasn’t.

    Caleb:
    “I love you kiddo”


    That was all the message said.
    A confused expression crossed Mai-lynn’s face. Sure, Caleb often reminded her that her loved her, yet this message seem odd for him.
    She quickly wrote reply, saying she loved him too. She sent the message and closed her phone, returning it to her pocket.
    “Shall we continue our evening stroll?” Joshua asked, his blue eyes staring into hers.
    Mai-lynn nodded and began walking at his side again.
    There was an uneasy feeling in her stomach, though she wasn’t really sure why.
    She figured it was probably because of Joshua. She still wasn’t sure what his intent was. It was midnight, they were alone and yet he wasn’t all over her.
    “So have you seen that new movie that’s out? It’s some kind of scary thriller.” Joshua said, of course starting up their conversation of getting to know each other again.
    Mai-lynn shook her head. Her thoughts had been moved to why Caleb had sent that message. She was waiting for his reply. Had something bad happened? Was he just having a bad night? Maybe bored while working a late shift somewhere? She fought the urge to pull out her phone again and try calling him.
    Conversation seemed to be dying between them. Now that her thoughts were focused entirely on Caleb. Joshua still continued to talk, accepting her little input on the conversation, yet clearly trying to get her to say more.
    Ten minutes or so passed and Mai-lynn still hadn’t heard from her brother. She tried to convince herself he must’ve just been bored.
    Joshua stopped walking and stood in front of her. His eyes easily read the worry on her face.
    “Mai-lynn, what’s bothering you?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice.
    Mai-lynn shrugged and looked at the ground. He put his hand under her chin and got her to look at him. He moved his hand to brush her black hair out of her face.
    “Do you not like me?” he asked, his expression looked truly offended. Mai-lynn shook her head with hesitation. “No, that’s not it. You’re amazing…” she said, trying to find her voice while she looked into his eyes.
    His expression change to a more worried, caring look. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards him.
    A small smile appeared on Mai-lynn’s face, which she hid in his chest. She felt so safe and comforted in his arms.
    “Do tell me what’s bothering you,” he spoke softly in her ear, while stroking the back of her head.
    She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted. There was yelling in the alleyway across the street.
    Too scared to pull away from his protective arms she turned her head, trying to see into the dark alley.
    From where they stood on the opposite side of the street they couldn’t see much of the scene. Just vague outlines of what looked to be a group of men.
    Despite the poor sight, they could easily hear the words that were being exchanged.
    “I don’t care what excuse you have! He hasn’t been payin’ us!” One man said in a very angry voice.
    Comments from others with him were added, mostly insults and swearing, nothing even borderline intelligent. All directed to whoever it was they were angry with.
    Mai-lynn felt Joshua’s arms tighten around her. She guessed it was probably a gang of drugs dealers fighting in the alley with a client who hadn’t been paying.
    She really wasn’t scared. This was something she was kind of accustomed to, seeing as this was Brooklyn. Though she was definitely glad that they were standing on the opposite side of the street. It was dark here too, with no street lights above. They clearly hadn’t noticed them. Which meant it was their cue to leave before they were noticed. Yet she couldn’t go, she felt the need to stay.
    A new voice in the alley made Mai-lynn’s heart stop. Fear rushed through her body, her legs trembled under her own weight.
    “Look man, he has a problem, don’t kill the guy.” Said the voice of her brother, Caleb.
    “Fine,” said the voice of the guy who sounded to be the leader type figure. “I’ll just kill his messenger first, so maybe he gets we mean business.”
    Immediately Mai-lynn pulled away from Joshua.
    A shot rang out in the air as Mai-lynn tried to get her legs to carry her across the street.
    The closer she got the outlines became people. It only took seconds to get there but it felt to her as if hours were passing. It was like one of those nightmares where you desperately want to get somewhere but can barely move because your legs are made of lead, or you are suddenly in a deep river with an overpowering current.
    As she made it to the entrance of the alleyway, four more shot pierced the air. She was still invisible to the gang, and the loud gun covered her footsteps.
    She watched as Caleb crumbled to the ground. The gang turned and ran down the opposite side of the alley.
    Mai-lynn wanted to scream at them, to go after them and beat them. Cause them as much pain as they were causing her brother. She could feel his pain, as well as her own pain in her heart. Instead of going after them she collapsed at Caleb’s side.
    The protective arms wrapped around her. Joshua reached into his pocket and took something, her mind didn’t register what, she didn’t care.
    She was no longer aware of anything except for Caleb. His hazel eyes stared at her with pain. His hand took hers. His grip was weak and shaky, like a man much past Caleb’s time.
    “Be strong, Mai. I love you,” he could barely whisper.
    Tears fell from her eyes as Caleb let go of her hand and closed his eyes. The pain inside her stopped and now she couldn’t feel much. Mai-lynn began screaming and crying. She buried her face on his bloodied chest. She could still feel his heart beating and could faintly feel his lungs pumping air.
    The sounds of sirens now broke her thoughts. It was so loud and hurt her ears.
    Joshua’s arms wrapped around her again and picked her up, away from Caleb’s bleeding body.
    Paramedics came and looked at his wounds. They put him on a stretcher and began carrying him to an ambulance, the one with the annoying sirens. It all happened way too quickly, and those stupid arms would not let her go.
    Mai-lynn tried to break free of his arms to go after Caleb. “No! I can’t just let him go!” She cried out. Her tiny fists pounding on Joshua’s chest. A pathetic attempt trying to get him to let go.
    Joshua simply put a hand behind her head and wrapped the other one around her waist.
    “Shh…It’s okay,” he whispered in her ear. “I called my dad, he should be here in a few, he’ll drive us to the hospital,” he said.
    Mai-lynn just stood there in his arms crying. She couldn’t really understand what those words meant, but she was sure they were comforting. She listened as the doors to the ambulance slammed shut and the sirens faded away.
    She felt so dead and unaware of everything. Joshua led her into his father’s car and they drove to the hospital. He kept his arms around her trying to sooth her while he explained things to his dad. Somewhere during the short ride, Joshua had learned the identity of Caleb through her sobs.

    __


    The two sat in the waiting room as an hour passed by.
    Mai-lynn had stopped crying but Joshua continued to hold her, talking softly in her ear. She felt so numb. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t talk. She could barely remember how to breathe.
    Finally a doctor came in and motioned for them. Mai-lynn jumped up and walked on her shaky legs to the doctor.
    Joshua was of course at her side, supporting her unsteady body. The doctor had an unreadable expression. Or maybe Mai-lynn just wasn’t capable of reading it.
    Silence was between them for a moment while the doctor looked over the clipboard in his hand. “Well, Caleb pulled though the surgery,” he said, looking at Mai-lynn with weary eyes. “Unfortunately, he’s in a coma and is on life support.”
    These words caused Mai-lynn to tremble and she could barely stand. Joshua immediately offered her more support. How could the doctor say such a thing? He said it like it was some kind of common known fact. Like everyone already knew and she shouldn’t be the least bit surprised that her brother was barely alive.
    The doctor’s eyes filled with sympathy as though reading Mai-lynn’s thoughts. “I’m sorry, I can’t promise he’ll make it through the night, though you and your boyfriend may stay with him,” said the doctor.
    If she had been in a better state Mai-lynn’s cheeks would have been burning at the suggestion of Joshua being her boyfriend.
    Instead, her eyes filled with tears at the possibility of losing her brother. He was the only family she had left. There was no way he could leave her. Not now. Not ever. She needed him.

    __


    Mai-lynn sat on Caleb’s bed, Joshua stood behind her, running his hand though her hair. She looked at Caleb with tear filed eyes. This couldn’t be. He was her brother. Her best friend. Her protector. He really was her everything.
    He had so many needles in his arms and tubes in his nose. Different machine and monitors surrounded him. They had to keep him alive. She couldn’t lose him. That wasn’t how her life worked. She needed him. He shouldn’t be on life support. That didn’t make any sense. He was her life support.
    She put her hand on his cheek. “He’s such an amazing person,” she whispered.
    “I wouldn’t doubt it for a second,” Joshua replied.
    She continued talking about Caleb. “He always took care of me. He has so many jobs to support us. Always looking out for me…” She went on talking about her brother for a good half hour before her throat drier than a desert land.
    When she finally grew weak from talking she had a river streaming down her face. Joshua wiped each tear away.
    It became quite uncomfortable sitting on the edge of the small hospital bed. Mai-lynn ended up sitting on Joshua’s lap while he sat in the chair beside the bed.
    She sat there watching Caleb, wondering if he was breathing or if it was just one of the machines doing it for him. While she sat there she listened to Joshua speaking comforting words that seemed to sooth her some.
    They were like this for a few hours. Exhaustion began to get the best of Mai-lynn. Her eyes glanced at the wall clock. It was 4:35.
    Her eyes grew unbearably heavy and she drifted off to sleep.
    Not much more than an hour later commotion filled the room. Mai-lynn woke up and felt Joshua’s arms wrapped tightly around her, again.
    Her tired eyes looked around the room at all the doctors and nurses surrounding her brother’s bed.
    She sat there watching, desperately trying to get a glimpse around the crowd.
    After five minutes the room calmed and most of them started leaving. A small sigh escaped her lips.
    The voice of a female nurse made her once again feel entirely numb. “Time of death, 6:26 a.m.” she said, writing it on a clipboard. The hum of the machines died away.
    Mai-lynn cried out, “No! Don’t give up, bring him back!” She said, her voice barely above a whisper despite wanting to scream it at the top of her lungs.
    She fought out of Joshua’s arms and collapsed at the bed. She removed the sheet that was covering her brother’s face.
    She weakly scrambled to her feet and sat on the edge of the bed. Hugging him while tears poured from her eyes yet again. He was still warm with life.
    She heard the doctor say they should just leave her be for awhile.
    An hour or maybe two had passed. Mai-lynn had no idea. All she could do was try to register that Caleb was really dead.
    Joshua had been silent this entire time. Or he might have spoken but Mai-lynn didn’t pay attention. She heard nothing but her frantic thoughts, screaming at her to do something. But she couldn’t. Caleb was the one who always did something.
    She now heard Joshua stand up and move to the edge of the bed. He helped Mai-lynn to her feet, holding onto her like she was a very fragile doll.
    “My dad’s here. I have to go home and change for church.. We’ll drop you off at your house and I promise I will come over right after,” he said, his voice stayed gentle and slow so she could understand.
    She nodded, a little confused. None of “them” went to church on Sundays. She would have thought about that more but wasn’t capable of thinking much beyond her brother’s death.
    Numbly, she left with Joshua, leaving Caleb behind.