• All children want to feel loved. Little kids adore their magical first kiss, and as they get older they try to intensify that same amazing feeling. In middle and high school, kids try to grow up early by going far with that person, but that isn’t truly love. This feeling now isn’t love.

    "It's been a long time, Roxas."

    "It has indeed." Roxas inwardly cringed as Axel kissed Roxas's forehead lovingly. It was a sickeningly sweet feeling, Axel's rough lips pressing against Roxas's cold skin.

    "You've changed." Axel's kisses moved down the blonde’s face, getting closer and closer to his lips. Axel wouldn't know if he had or not, he hadn't seen Roxas in years. Had it been years? The smaller had lost count; if the time they'd been apart had only been mere months, it sure felt worlds longer.

    "Not really," Roxas murmured, not entirely sure who he was speaking to. Axel pulled back for a moment, looking Roxas in the eyes.

    "But you have. I know you." And green eyes softened when they looked into the other's. Blue was fighting so hard to be icy, when it was about to melt. All the words Roxas couldn't say built up inside of him. 'I love you. I want to be with you. Stay, please, forever.' In a second, all thoughts scattered as hot lips met Roxas' own. The hands that comforted Roxas all those years ago grabbed him harder, pulling him so close that only clothes tore the two beings apart. Even those did not stay on for long. "Please, Roxas, just for tonight..."

    And he was swept off his feet, like always.

    Those rough hands began pulling at Roxas' clothes, tearing them down as if they were nothing. Axel's skin was hot as fire, just as the blond remembered. Roxas gasped for air, and the redhead above him chuckled. "Aha, must've been too long, you're already aching for my touch." Large hands ran down Roxas' stomach, sending shivers to every part of him.

    "Ax...el..." Axel wouldn't let him talk. Lips attacked Roxas' mouth again, biting and sucking and licking, harder than before. The redhead knew he had been given permission. Permission to Roxas' body had been granted, just as it was every time, and just as it was back then. He had free reign now. Roxas remembered the first time this game had been played. It was Roxas first, who made the advancement. He confessed his love to a man who everyone loved; it was second nature for the redhead to have gotten a confession. Still, this time Axel gave the person a chance, because the blond was just too cute to resist. Roxas didn't understand how Axel played the game of sex back then. All Axel needed was one sign - a gasp, a motion, a feeling, and the other person playing became a pawn. Roxas loved innocently and blindly, following like the devoted soul he was. Axel used Roxas' body anytime he pleased, doing with it whatever he pleased. The rules were simple enough - Axel was always the winner, and nobody ever said no.

    "Ahh... it.." 'it hurts, Axel. Please, please... stop.. for me?' 'Of course, Roxas, anything for you....'

    "It what, Roxas?"

    "Nothing." Axel bit down on Roxas' neck, causing Roxas to cry out in pain.

    "That's what I thought." Axel licked where he had bitten, sucking the blood from the spot. He smirked when he felt fingers clawing at his back. He watched the frail body under him curve in pleasure. Axel knew Roxas didn't like it. Roxas knew Axel didn't like him. It was all part of the game.

    Roxas tried to resist, but, as always, he gave up.

    "Ah.. Axel..! M-more..." And Axel gave him more. His fingers burned Roxas with every touch, carved marks in his body as he dragged his nails down the blond boy's scarred stomach. It was far from over. Axel ran his tongue up and down the other's flesh, up to a n****e, biting it, playing with it. He moved to the other one. Roxas' body curved up some more. It had been so long, too long... So long that Roxas had forgotten the rules of the game.

    Axel kept trying, harder and harder until the two were both covered in blood, trying to rip apart Roxas. But it didn't work. Roxas bit his lip hard, he didn't care what came next, he didn't care that his whole body was burning - he only wanted the redhead near him.

    How did things get like this? Roxas remembered the day he had met the other. Of course it was love at first sight, with that gorgeous face and body of his. Nothing compared. Immediately Roxas realized what he wanted. It had been a casual meeting, both of them in college. Roxas was always cute and girls adored him, but Axel, though as handsome as he was, was too standoffish toward anyone. Still, Roxas fell. He confessed his love to Axel, who didn't turn him down, but instead used the invitation to his advantage.

    It could be worse, Roxas told himself. He knew his body liked the attention, so why was he still trying to fight off the other? He would love it more if he played along too. He moaned. "Mmm.. Axel..." He kissed Axel back with a passion that was twice as strong as the redhead's, for he not only felt lust, but love as well. He wrapped his legs around the other's waist, pulling them even closer. Their bodiees were pressed against each other, all four hands touching everywhere, caressing every part. They began to lose track of what belonged to who, as they got caught up in the motions. Finally, Axel pulled away.

    "Turn around." Roxas did as he was told. Nervously, very nervously, he bit his lip and gripped the sheets beneath him. The blond was very aware of what was coming next, but it had been a very long time...



    Love.. isn't supposed to be like this. This is violent and fast, when love is supposed to be slow and sincere. Axel's touch was all wrong. Roxas cried out in pain at every harsh movement, which was almost everything. It hurt, so very bad, and the blond cried and cried, forcing a lump in his throat to nearly choke him. Why? Why did things have to be this way? This feeling. Amazing yet horrifying. Incredible yet petrifying. Roxas' heart was going to explode with this disasterous confusion. What in the world was becoming of him?



    "Do you love me, Roxas?" The lump in Roxas' throat nearly gagged him. He grimaced away from Axel.



    "You know I do."



    "Tell me you love me. Say it just once."



    "I love you... Axel."



    "Such a good boy." Roxas felt his stomach flip. This game had become nothing more than a charade. He didn't care anymore. He didn't want to keep up this game. Axel didn't care about him at all - if he did he wouldn't keep leaving and coming back when he needed more. He would stick around, tend to Roxas and love Roxas. Things would be different if Roxas had never met Axel, and the blond longed for time to turn back, however he knew he would never get a second chance. Saying no was not an option in this game.



    "Roxas...” Axel calling the boy's name sent chills up Roxas' spine. He closed his eyes slowly, knowing this would be the last time he heard his name be said.



    "Don't say my name."



    "Oh!" Axel feigned a nervous voice, "Little Roxy-chan thinks he deserves a pet name!"



    "No. Don't call my name, don't touch me, and don’t use me ever again. This ends here."

    Roxas gulped. "I don't want this."



    For the first time al night, Axel stopped. He faltered. He pulled away and looked into those cerlean eyes, sighing.



    "Come on. You can't be serious." Roxas looked at Axel with a serious expression.



    "I am."



    "Fine then. You know what this means." Axel grabbed Roxas' wrists so tighly Roxas gasped out in pain. Axel tightened his grip, twisting them too, until he heard two pops. Roxas screamed in pain. He kept screaming while Axel's face distorted into this horribly malcious sneer.



    Roxas was scared. He squeezed his eyes shut but knew that wouldn't protect him from what would happen next; or what he would become when this was all over. He felt himmself being clawed apart. He opened his eyes to see Axel ripping at his skin, using a knife. He screamed more and more. Axel pulled apart the gashes, making them longer and bigger. Roxas couldn't see anything over the blood, he just felt his body being torn apart slowly. Tears streamed down his face, but still the torture kept going. His entire body shook, his limbs trembled furiously, almost knocking him over. He tried getting up, but the pain was so intense he could barely lift his torso. Still, he tried. He moved one hand over his chest, but blood still fell around the wounds. Axel had pulled back, watching him. Roxas, making it to the edge of the bed, fell off, making a pool of blood around his body. It was time to give up, and Roxas knew it. He lay there in defeat, his mind whirring down.



    Things were quiet for once. Roxas screamed until the very end, confirming his death for Axel. The redhead didn't look down at the poor young body below him. He threw a bloody sheet down on top of the blond, obscuring him from view. "Ah, Roxas...” He murmured, staring over the body. "Why him? He was the only one... I liked..." That didn't matter, not in this game. Nobody could ever win, so people gave up trying. In the end, all that had remained was an innocent blond haired boy with sky blue eyes who would fight until the end.



    A tear almost came to Axel's eye as he thought about never seeing that boy again. Almost.