We rolled around in the grass are breath coming quick and sharp. He is my always, was all that ran through my head. Then that sudden cold pain flashed through me. My heart beat slowed, my eyes opened in shock. I went limp and cold under him and then it all went black. I woke up a long while later in a stinky basement. Blood was dried on the deep nasty wound on my stomach. My inner thighs were black and blue and there was a bit of dried blood around there too.
Tears never came though. I knew I'd been violated. I knew I'd been stabbed. I knew my one love had wronged me in many ways. Still, my eyes were dry. I knew I should be absolutely devastated but I simply was not. Don't think me strong, or brave or any other honorable characteristic. It was none of those things that stopped tears from coming, and kept my emotions in check. It was sheer stupidity. Although he had done the worst to me, I still thought he loved me. He hadn't killed me. I thought that was saying something.
How screwed up was I, right. I mean the guy turned a beautiful summers day into one of pain. He made fresh green grass, go bloody red with the blood of the person who loved him the most. He had taken away something I could never get back. I stood in that basement and listened to rats scuttle across the cold cement floor. It was too dark for my eyes to adjust enough to see anything.
In that darkness I waited for him. Hoped he would still be with me forever. Wanted him no matter that he ruined our first time. It was a nightmare that I created in my mind. He came eventually though. I saw him as I felt the last of my life escape me. He said the one thing the keeps me wishing even now six feet underground.
You were my all.
I had to make you fall.
For in this place.
It's for ourselves we must live.
With you that was simply not the case.
- Title: Can't let Go
- Artist: the ivory lily
It won't matter.............
- Date: 08/11/2009
- Tags: cant