Slowly and deliberatly, I reached over and pushed a loose strand of light blonde hair behind his ear. I stroked his cheek with the back of my hand and my ring shimmered in the moonlight. Taylor grasped my hand and stared intently at my purity ring, fixating his gaze upon it with such an intensity I'm surprised it didn't burst into flames right there on my pinky finger. There was a question lurking behind his sparkling green eyes, I could tell from just one glance at them. "Why do you still wear this?" he asked me mildly, trying to make the question sound a tad less important I supose. He had a sheepish look on his face, like a child asking a forbidden question that he knew there is no answer to. And it's true, that is a forbidden question, at least between the two of us, he see's the way my face contorts in agony, and the way my body tenses next to him when he asks. My eyes narrow and I clench my hands into fists. So it was going to be one of those nights. I thought as I dropped my hand into my lap.
I could never tell Taylor the truth behind my ring, if I did he would have to deal with my problems too and I can't drag anybody else into my situation. "I don't want to talk about it." I murmured, staring down at my hands. "When do you ever?" he replied, shoving himself up from the park bench and away from me. I moaned, inwardly kicking myself for replying to him at all and dropped my head into my hands letting my hair fall over my face and the tears flow freely. I wish I could tell you! I shouted at him in my head and then, almost inevitably, I remember how I got my ring and why I will never take it off. It's hard to even think about it....let alone talk with my boyfriend about it, but I couldn't stop myself.
The thoughts and memories devoured me whole... I was raped. The man who did it to me was painfully violent and drunk. I was at a party and I left my drink on a table while I went to use the bathroom, I came back and started sipping my Coke, it tasted a bit off so I set it down on the polished wooden table and went to dance...I don't remember anything afterwards. The next morning the man (who was hiding his face behind a black ski mask) slipped the plain silver ring onto my finger and said I was to never ever take it off, if I did he would come looking for me...again. He said he didn't want anyone else to have me but him. I don't know why, but this traumatized me, and I haven't taken the ring off for 5 years. I don't want him to come back for me. I shudder, violently wrenching myself from my thoughts, and Taylor cocked his head kind of like a curious puppy, questioning me silently.
I shake my head and he sits down next to me again and wraps his arms around me. I lean into him and weep quietly, wetting his shirt with my salty, unimportant tears. Taylor's lips graze my ear as he whispers, "Whats the matter love?". I start hyperventilating and sobbing, shaking my body to the core and I just shake my head and look up at him with miserable, tormented eyes speaking to him through my thoughts trying with all my might to make him understand. He saw the desperation on my face and his eyes widden anxiously.
He hugs me closer to himself and mumbles, "Come on now, get your hair out of your face." He strokes my face as another sob heaves through my body and I push my hair behind my ears.
I turn my head slightly and his face is just as close as I expected it to be, just about to whisper something else in my ear. On his frozen lips is the whisper he was about to utter, I slowly trace the contours of his lips and jaw and my lips graze the side of his face as I whisper in his ear, "Kiss me." Taylor holds me at arms length like a doll and stares into my eyes, full of desire, shaking his head in denial. "Why won't you love me?" I mumble, casting my eyes to the ground and letting a single tear escape from my half-closed eyes. "You know I do..." He said. He scuffed his shoe against the dirt floor then looked up with a new determination in his features, slowly he leans forward and hesitates a bit before my face. I close my eyes and inhale his cologne letting my instincts take over, then close the gap in between our lips.
We fit perfectly together, his arms around my waist and mine around his neck. I'm flying, Taylor is everywhere. His scent, his taste, and his touch... the most important thing in the world is him, I don't even consider the consequences of the kiss. Oblivious to the world around us his hands ran up and down my torso, and I shivered with excitment throwing myself into the kiss a little too enthusiasticly.
The kiss ended ubruptly, or so it seemed to me, I wish we could stay in that moment for the rest of our lives, intertwined together in the moonlight. We stared into each others eyes, his I could tell were filled with desire, almost over flowing actually I'm sure mine looked the same. I grabbed his hand and he led me down to the lake he smiled playfully and kicked a pebble in my direction and I kicked it back. We proceded like this untill we reached the lake and I tossed it into the water causing little waves to ripple across the surface. We stared out over the disturbed water hand in hand waiting for the water to settle down again. I looked up at his face staring out over the water, and then down at my left hand implying silently at what he could do.
On my tip-toes I give him a quick peck on the lips and offered my pinky finger, "Are you absolutly positive you want to do this? I know how much it hurts you..." I noddd and watched in silence as he clasped his forefinger and thum over the silver band and gently pulled it off and placed it in my palm. I just realize now how repulsive the little piece of bent metal was to me, not that the ring itself was ugly but the story behind it was. I closed my sweaty fingers around it and without a second glance, tossed it into the lake "And may I never see him again", I begged to god. Taylor said nothing about my queer request, he just supervisd my actions making sure I didn't get too carried away. The ring shattered the smooth glass-like water like a bullet puncturing the silence of the midnight air. There was a look of excitment upon Taylor's features now as he grabbed my hand and led me deeper into the quiet of the woods, where no one would disturb us for hours to come.
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