• Cinders is a girl who seems to have the same situation as Cinderella (her fifth cousin three times removed, twice put back in, spun around four times then half-drowned in the millpond, revived by necromancy and gone off to marry a prince). For Prince Setstuffablaze, the handsomest pyromaniac in the land of Burnalot, was throwing a burnout party at the castle. There wasn’t a single living soul that wasn’t invited. Ciders step-brothers, on the other hand, thought (if they could) otherwise. As soon as they discovered that she had obtained an invitation, they set it on fire.
    * * *
    Cinders sat in the courtyard, sulking. She was envisioning how she was going to make her step-brothers suffer. Just as she was coming to a horribly gory end, bubbles filled the air, and the faint sound of humming could be heard. Cinders didn’t even sit up; she knew who it was.
    “Skippity Boppity B-” a voice began.
    “Hey F-G” Cinders interrupted glumly.
    “You know, I like my entrance spells very much, thank you, and I don’t need you to interrupt them all the time.” said the Fairy Godmother.
    “Sorry F-G.” Cinders said finding much interest in her shoes.
    “Hmm,” the floating woman scanned Cinders’ face. “Let me guess; somebody’s throwing a party, and step-siblings swamped you with work, ripped your clothes, or burned your invite.”
    Cinders said nothing but waved her hand in a circle, glowering at a pebble and admitted grudging defeat.
    “Then let’s go then.” The fairy was disappointed; she always gets the same ordeal. “Skippity-Boppity-BOO!”
    Mist spun around Cinders. Faster, faster it spun. As the mist slowly died down Cinders emerged wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, but in her hand she held a golden lighter.
    “Uh, F-G? What’s this for?” Cinders asked pointing at the lighter, ignoring the clothes.
    “Well, there’s always a magic item, and that’s yours. The fire made by the Gold Lighter, is white and gold, and also no-one but you may use it. Anything that touches its flame will burn, no matter what. All right and here’s your invite. Remember, be back by midnight.”
    “Why?” Cinders inquired.
    “I dunno. It’s in the Rule Book.” The old lady held up a large, leather bound book, marked “Rules of Fairy Godmother-ing” and flipped it open. “See? Page 789: Thy godchild must arrive by midnight hence.”
    “Midnight hence? What does that mean?”
    “I don’t ask questions; I just wave the wand.”
    “Right, I’ll be off then.”
    Cinders ran happily to the palace. There were all sorts of things to do there as well, a burning stuff contest, dancing, and piles of food, everything Cinders could have asked for. Prince Setstuffablaze wasn’t as interesting as she thought, however.
    “So, what do you think of me?” asked Setstuffablaze slicking his blond hair back, trying to make himself more attractive. Ciders sighed inwardly, that’s all he talks about, she thought, himself; for a little while, okay but for an hour and a half?
    “You’re a boring, sadistic, and moronic narcissist?” Cinders ventured.
    “That I am baby. That I – Wait a minute!” Uh oh, he’s smarter than he appea-
    “What does narcissist, mean?” or not. She finished to herself.
    “Someone who thinks only of themselves dear.” Said his mother from behind him.
    “Oh, for a second I thought you insulted me.” the prince said, relieved.
    “Who insulted you?” asked a small studious looking guy from behind.
    “Nothing Lennon, go back to your nerd cave and play videogames.” Setstuffablaze growled angrily.
    “Video games?” Cinders perked up.
    “Yeah... I just came out to see if we could get some nachos, my friend Larry, brought Silent Evil 4: Left for the Undead,” Larry said quietly.
    “Can I come?” Cinders’ eyes glittered at the idea of such extreme violence.
    “Uh... really?” Lennon stared at her, looking suspicious. “Well, there’s a lot of violence and death, and the guts and-”
    “You had me at violence and nachos.” Cinders interrupted, grinning like a deranged chimpanzee after eating five metric tons of pure sugar. “Come on! Let’s go!
    * * *
    “That was so cool! When “Box-Head-Dude” teamed up with “The Arch-Enemy” and we had to use that death ray so that the “Recoverers” couldn’t get us; and there was all those zombie guys; we must have been hit with the full force of the ‘Collective’…” Cinders was excitedly chattering away with Lennon about the game, and gabbed until the clock struck twelve.
    “Uh, oh.” She said, cutting off her tangent.
    “What is it? What’s wrong?” Lennon asked.
    “I gotta get home!” She said dashing off, not noticing as she dropped her golden lighter on the ground.
    “Wait!” Lennon called after her. “I don’t even know your email!” Lennon sighed and watched as she disappeared, until he saw a golden glint on the ground. As he walked towards it he realized it was the gold lighter that Cinders had. It had an address on the back.
    * * *
    A couple of days had passed since the party. The world of Burnalot moved back into regular, almost. The day after the party ended, Lennon disappeared, without any word of where he went. Two days later, Lennon appeared, quite literally, on Cinders’ doorstep.
    DING DONG
    Cinders sighed and left her room, and trotted down the stairs to the door.
    “Cinders!” Lennon huffed.
    “Lennon? What are you doing here?” Cinders asked.
    “You forgot your lighter.” he said, rather anti-climactically, holding out the lighter. As Cinders reached out to grab it, she held his hand. They looked deep into each others eyes, and she noticed all the details about him. His red hair, like he was dipped in liquid cheese, his brown eyes... They broke apart and stood there awkwardly looking at the ground.
    “Thanks... uh, for returning it.” Cinders said slowly. Silence descended on them like a like a child does a slice of chocolate cake.
    “So... I was going to go to the movies next weekend; “Tennant Darkness 4” premiers Saturday. Do you want to go with me?” he asked, hopefully.
    “I’d like that.” she said, smirking slightly, their eyes meeting again. “Is there violence?”
    “Yep, there will be nachos, too.” He said breaking into a little smile.
    * * *
    Lennon and Cinders became the new king and queen of Burnalot, and they ruled peacefully for many years. Cinders’ brothers are welcomed to the palace every day, scrubbing the floors of the royal “really big room with no function”. The fairy godmother is expecting to be the fairy great-grandmother as of winter this year. Cinderella made an appearance at the wedding, drunk, and cursed the happy couple. She was removed from the ceremony and disappeared.

    Three months later, Cinderella was discovered in Mexico -drunk again- convinced that a guy in a promotional burrito suit was Prince Charming. Prince Charming denies any correlation between the two and has never met the strange woman. On a clearly unrelated matter, he moved to Russia, where he owns a Casino/Hotel chain.
    FIN