• Fan Fiction 4; Parts 19-22

    By: Megan B.

    19. "To Love is Easy. It Ain’t Easy to Walk Away"

    As Jo drove me back to me house, nothing was said. Nothing really could be said. Every time I attempted to say a simple word, it got choked in the back of my throat, and I sounded like a dying pig.

    Twenty minutes to my house; no music. No nothing.

    When Jo stopped in front of my house, I managed to mumble a very quiet "Thanks." I knew she knew that I wanted to be alone. My friend respected my wishes, and as I watched her back out away from the curb, I saw a river of tears flood over her face.

    She wasn’t the only one.

    I feebly waved, tears black with eyeliner falling. Falling, splat. On the sidewalk. I could tell my eyeliner was smeared. Liquid eyeliner was the worst for that. My eyes stung greatly as I slowly strolled up the walk. I gained the front door with a shaking inhale and headed up to my room, not bothering to take off my shoes. I didn’t even think of that!

    I felt numb, like a part of me just died. Did it? An Café meant a lot to me, and meeting them meant even more…

    In my room, I plopped on my bed, face down, as I dug for my IPod. Finding it stuffed away in my bag, I crammed the earphones against my eardrums and demanded for "Aijou Cycling." Forgetting all the beginning, I skipped to the middle and sang along, "Jibun ni mukau Zouo no ya wo; Nakama ni mukau Aijo no ya ni surikaeyo…"

    Eventually, I came around. By 6:30, I felt like bingeing food. As I made my way to the refrigerator down in the empty kitchen, I spotted my bags out the corner of my eye. Forgetting about the pathetic food, I hesitantly snatched my bags and crawled back to my bed and under the thick covers.

    I searched my bags and found my photo copy. Picture perfect. As I slowly studied the faces and autographs, I traced my fingers around their names. Miku, Teruki, Bou, Takuya, Yu-ki, Kanon…Jo. I momentarily stopped at Yu-ki’s hand. Never had I noticed how beautifully he wrote his name! Slowly inhaling and exhaling, I hugged the photo; the tears had ended. Now all that was left was remorse. Memories.

    20. Locket

    At 7:30, my mother came through the front door. I could hear her arrival.

    Setting my untouched bags aside, I stood and briefly stopped in front of the mirror.

    "Oh, god, I look like I mess," I mumbled, wiping the black from under my eyes. I looked like a raccoon!

    Taking my final breath, I opened my door and went to see my mom.

    In the kitchen, my mom was preparing supper. Hearing my footsteps, she turned to glance over her shoulder.

    "Guys left?"" she asked with a slight mixture of disappointment and distress in her voice.

    I sniffled and nodded my head. "All six."

    Frowning, my mother turned back to her preparation.

    Watching her from behind as she moved, I stood at the foot of the stairway.

    "Mom," I started.

    Slowly, my mother halted. "Yeah?" she asked when she faced me.

    I sighed. "I love you."

    She was as shocked as I was.

    "I love you too, Rae. Are you going to keep in touch with the guys?" she asked.

    "The guys" sounded so…friendly. I shifted and shrugged. "I gave them my cell number. I’m hoping for a reply before we go back to school."

    My mom simply nodded. "No Jo?"

    I shook my head. "No Jo." Rubbing my bottom eyelids, I started back up the stairs. "I’ll be in my room," I called.

    Allowing myself to fall lifeless-like to my bed, I pulled out my cell phone and slipped off my flats. Quickly, I texted Jo, "Are yu doing ok?" Waiting for her reply, I attended to my bags. Pulling them up on the bed with me, I carefully pulled out the items they contained: shirts, earrings, necklaces, pants, locket.... Wait, locket?

    Confused, I pulled out the gold chain connected to the mysterious locket.

    ‘I don’t recall buying this,’ I thought.

    With trouble, I pried open the locket and gasped. On the left side of the open heart, a small piece of paper was forced. Eyebrows creased, I tugged the paper out. On it was number in messy writing. Delicately flipping over the paper, I read the back. "Txt us! Love, Antic Café o(ヘ)o"

    I felt my lower jaw drop. Now for sure I could communicate with them! How dreamlike!

    Taking my cell up again, I inserted the six numbers in the address book with the proper names. Smiling to myself after I had successfully inserted them, I selected Teruki’s number; I texted a quick, "Thnks for the locket. whend yu put it in my bag? did jo get one too?"

    Suddenly feeling tired, I laid back with heavy, but awake, eyelids, smiling at the ceiling.

    A sharp pain running through my ankle and the vibrating of my phone shook me from my daydreams.

    An incoming text!

    Excited, I grabbed my phone and opened up the text—Jo.

    "Yeh .you?

    I frowned; I was happy I got her reply, but I really wanted Teruki’s!

    Patting my plushie on its head, I replied to Jo’s ,"Mhm. did yu get a locket in yur bag?"

    I directed the text to Jo and laid back. I glanced up at the clock. 7:20 P.M. No wonder I got no reply from Teruki! He was busy!

    Biting the side of my mouth, I made up my mind to text Bou. Maybe he would know something. "Thnx for the locket. who bought it & whend yu put it in my bag? does jo have one?"

    All I could do was lay back and wait for a reply from either of them.

    Gently stroking my Teruki plushie, I fingered the locket, paper back inside. Slowly getting off my bed, I placed the gold necklace in the Memory Box.

    "Por siempre," I said as I slowly slipped the box back into its drawer.

    Noticing how I had carelessly let my newly bought items fall to the floor, I scooped them up and placed them on top of my dresser.

    Heaving a sigh, I sat back down on my bed, letting myself bounce lazily. My phone bounced too. I would not have known I had a new message if the sound indication had not beeped.

    Stilling myself, I opened my phone and went straight to the messages. Surprisingly, there were two. Jo…and Bou.

    Ignoring Jo’s for the time being, I opened Bou’s that read, "(: welcome. teruki-san bought it & mik put it in. jo dosnt have 1 so dont tell her kyo-san is planning to give her 1 after seeing her looovvvveee-bou-kun."

    I smiled deeply and closed my eyes. The words "jo dosnt have 1 so dont tell her…" were imprinted over my eyes.

    I replied ,"Oh. ill try to thnk them. relle? kyo?! how?"

    Beaming, I read Jo’s "No…why?"

    Frowning, I remembered Bou’s message. "Oh. just was thinking." I replied.

    ‘Was that lying or pretending not to know? I don’t want to lie to my best friend. But lying is not pretending to know are two different things, right?’ I though to myself.

    I wasn’t sure.

    I glanced over at my clock; 7:40, it read.

    Shocked by the buzz of my phone, I jumped with a small cry.

    It was Bou again. "I culd thnk them 2 maybe. un kyo! not sure how…scary thout."

    I laughed and replied my answer of, "haha! no,i can. thats funny! hm…"

    Until eight I received no replies from anyone. Growing bored, I planted my earphones back into my ears and listened to song followed by song..."Hatsukoi"…"Snow Scene"…"Escapism"…"Koi no Dependence"…The list grew longer and longer until finally my mom called my down from the kitchen.

    Stepping into the kitchen, I finally realized how hungry I really was, and the kitchen smelled great.

    Walking over to my mom and peeking over her shoulder, I saw she had prepared chicken-flavored Ramen noodles for me. Grinning, I hugged her, feeling odd that I was happy over food.

    My mom stiffened. "Rae, I have hot water!"

    I back away. "Sorry!" I took a seat at the table and waited for her to motion me into the dining room—an order I directly obeyed.

    Super was short; I tried to shove hot noodles and pineapple juice into my stomach, all the while making scrappy conversation to keep my mother happy.

    After clearing the table, I rushed upstairs at 8:30 to check my phone.

    21. Expect the Unexpected

    Switching on a Def Leppard CD, I reached my phone and sat down on my bed, rocking back and forth to the music.

    The incoming text light flashed continuously red.

    "Some time, anytime, sugar me sweet," I sang, opening the texts. There were three. Jo, Bou, and some unknown number.

    Confused, I opened Jo’s, "Oh haha your so odd o.O!" I laughed, "XP of course. still depressed that you cant see Dir en Grey…kyo??"

    After I confirmed that was sent, I read Bou’s: "Heard from them yet? theyre not answering the fone!"

    I cocked my head to the side, lip-synching to "Animal." Shaking my head, I replied, "no…havent got one back. ill try later. probably still on the plane or something."

    I turned up the music louder as my phone signaled my text was sent Bou’s phone. Now for the unknown text. Cautiously, I opened the message.

    "hi. whats jos #?"

    Wincing, I rubbed my asleep foot and replied with my friend’s number and one simple question: why?

    Thoughtfully, I chewed the side of my mouth. ‘Who the hell was that?’ I thought.

    At. 8:45, I got my question answered. "Doumo. kyo-san desu, hai? about 2 start show."

    My jaw dropped and I shook my head, confused. "Oh…okay."

    What else what I supposed to say? I wanted to hear from Bou…or Teruki!

    Almost immediately, Jo sent me a text. "OMFGGGJHGYT! KYO JUST TEXTED ME!"

    I laughed to myself. Def Leppard still unconsciously blasted. "I know! haha!"

    I could almost imagine how Jo’s face would look when she got that!

    Sitting around, I got no replies—not even after nine o’clock.

    Just when I was second doubting myself about snuggling under my covers, my phone rang. Startled at the "Gardia" ringtone, I instantly answered.

    "Hello?" I asked into the phone.

    No reply; just faint static

    "Hello?" I repeated with a little attitude.

    Silence.

    I was about to hang up when a faint voice answered on the other line.

    "Hello," it answered.

    I struggled to hear anything. "Who is this?" I asked as I turned up the volume and down the music.

    "Guess." It was definitely a male!

    I thought. "Bou? Because I haven’t gotten a reply from the text…" I guessed.

    "No," the caller replied. "Yu-ki."

    I scowled, eyebrows knitted. "Serious?"

    "Yeah." Now that I knew, it really did sound like him!

    "Where are you guys? It’s 9:10 P.M.!" I cried.

    There was a pause followed by faint voice speaking Japanese.

    "Sorry, what?" Oh, we just got in San Francisco. We…can’t find where we’re supposed to go!" Yu-ki replied finally.

    I tried not to laugh. "Really? Aww! So then, why’d you call me?"

    He sighed on the other line. "Wait. No, it’s 7:15 here!" he corrected. "And Teruki just got a text—"

    "I already know the answer," I interrupted.

    "Oh."

    "Yeah," I replied, turning off my automatically stopped CD player.

    "Well—"static. "Teruki wants to say something," Yu-ki said, slowly growing faint as if he was handing the phone over.

    After a few shouts in Japanese, Teruki was on the line. "Hello?"

    "Hi...," I murmured.

    "Rae?" he asked.

    I smiled. "Yes, Teruki-san!"

    Laughs. "Mr. Teruki." I was so confused! "Well, I got your text, but I heard you got your answer, right?"

    I nodded but realized he couldn’t see me. "Yeah."

    Sighs, followed by shouts. Then laughs. "Well, I just want to say we’re here and have nowhere go to. Kind of not good!"

    Now sympathy started to kick in. "Yeah, well, I can stay on the line if you want?"

    More shouts, this time followed by static. "Sure! Sound good. But Yu-ki doesn’t want me to be on the phone all the time," Teruki laughed.

    I couldn’t help but laugh also. Teruki sounded awesome on the phone!

    "So," Teruki sighed, "I guess…" he started, faking sorrow. "Miku get to talk!"

    More shouts and laughs, outlined in sounds of passing cars and static.

    "Teruki-san! Kimi was—Aa! Hello!" Miku said, quickly bursting into laughter. "Rae. Uh. Hi."

    I giggled. "Hi, Mik-san."

    More laughter. "Well, I don’t really have much to say! We are waiting outside, and it is getting dark!" Miku replied, blowing out. He was obviously smoking.

    I was about to speak when through the phone sounded heavy, quick footsteps and high pitched screams.

    "Aa, s**t!" I heard Kanon yell.

    "Miku…" I started.

    With heavy quick inhales, Miku replied, "Rae, we have to get back to you. Fan found us! Shu, Aa! Iie! Yu-ki, tasukete! Kure! Aa, itai yo! Rae, we need to go. They’re like, att—Aa! Damn! Awaremi tamai, kure! Rae?"

    Static and grunts. They were trying to break free.

    "Yeah?" I replied.

    "Gommemasai. Watashi-tachi—Aa! Ugh!—Rae, sorry—Goddamnit, kid!—But, we have to—RUN KANON-SAN!—we need to go. Sorry. Bye! Bye, Rae We call you later—"

    Closer heavy steps and pants filled my ears before the phone clicked off.
    "Hee…," I mumbled, eyebrows raised. I shook my head and looked for incoming texts.

    Surprisingly, there were two. Again, however, Jo and Bou.

    I opened Jo’s first this time—it read: "Howd you know?!???!!! > neutral " Laughing heartily, I replied, "He texted me too"

    Now for Bou’s, "Ee. but i got throu. nyaa!"

    "Me too…they called me! biggrin xP" I texted in smiles. It was now 9:45, and I was about to go to bed once more when I got two more messages.

    Both were alien numbers. Moreover, I opened the first:

    "Ha! lost em. shikata ga-nai"

    Immediately I knew—MIKU!

    "Haha! yoi! true…everyone just loves yu! xP" I replied.

    Now for the other: "Shu, gambare, hai?"

    I was so confused! ‘Our dear lord, be brave, yes?’

    ‘Wow,’ I thought.

    "&..that makes sense how & who IS this?’ I responded.

    Finally, my phone told me everyone was either too busy or too tired to reply. Content, I snuggled into my messy bed, lying on my left side, awaiting sleep; I didn’t even bother to turn off my light.

    22. This Isn’t the Truly Goodbye, is It?

    At 9:15, my phone rang out—new text.

    Wearily, I groaned and groped for my phone. After much searching, I flipped it open and found five new messages and one new voice mail message.

    Flabbergasted, I opened the first one on the list—Jo’s.

    "Really? oh crap. i wish i couldve gone to the concert!"

    Unaware for the slightest bit, I replied, "Mhm yeah. but yeah im tired x.x"

    Rubbing my eyes, I opened the next—Bou.

    "They called u? awesome! nyaaa!"

    Running my fingers through my messy hair, I texted back, "Yeah. relle. haha hey when are you going back?"

    After double checking to see that both of those replies went through, I read the third one, suddenly feeling hungry. This one was from Miku, and it read, "I kno! haha. they got teruki a bit. we were getting into a cab when 1 grabbed his arm & hair & drag him out. OW! they tried to pull him away but he fout back. they did manage 2 kick him. he screamed itai for a while but hes okay & so are we! cant wait for the concert!"

    That was the longest text in my inbox! Carefully rereading the message from Mik-san, I eventually replied—

    "Oh wow ow! is he ok? x.x biggrin ill look into that!"

    Turing on "Lock On za New Sekai", I ignored the urge to dance and opened yet another message.

    This was one was new, with no history. "Concert went well. staying in city today. can jo get her present…soon? will be @ mall all way…or try!"

    Kyo!

    "Good. ill tell her. its early so yeah," I replied.

    Suddenly, I felt dizzy. Closing my eyes, I laid back, still answering the next text.

    "Dunno…random. Takuya-san!"

    "What…?" I started aloud, but then remembered the text last night that made no absolute sense.

    Smiling, I started to answer. "Oh. OH! haha yu ok?"

    I almost forgot about the voice mail as I muzzled my way back into my bed covers with my plushie, closing my eyes for a spit second.

    I started back to my phone and held it to my ear as the message played.

    "Rae," it was Kanon. "Concert on the eighth—"(my birthday) "went good!" Cheers exploded from the background. "Just want to show you some of what it was like when you were on the floor." Music started to play, backed up by Miku’s voice. I really must have been out!

    Ignoring the other music from my room, I beamed as I listened to the message. When it was over, I felt like calling him back but remember what Kyo had said.

    Opening a replied text from Jo, I texted her saying to be at the mall around noon. I also told her I wasn’t going to be there. I didn’t tell her why.

    Now really feeling pangs of hunger, I slowly made to the kitchen where my mother was sitting at the table, eating cereal.

    When she saw me, she smiled. "Up finally?" she asking, spooning cereal into her mouth.

    I smiled feebly. "Yeah. Why are you not eating in the dining room?"

    Sucking on her spoon, my mom shrugged. "Not as lonely here. Are you hungry? Here…" She stood and pulled a chair up. "Sit," she ordered, going back to her breakfast.

    I sat as she requested. "Thanks."

    My mom sighed and pushed her dish aside. "So, how’s it been going?" she asked, folding her hands neatly in front of her chest. She leaned forward as if she didn’t want to miss a single word that emitted from my lips.

    I shrugged and looked around, eyebrows furrowed. "Good, I guess. Maybe?"

    My mother shook her head. "No, how has the…uh…communication? With the Japanese boys been?"

    "Oh! Well, good, I guess. Weird because they’re, like, famous, but you know…" I replied.

    My mom stared at me blankly. "No, I don’t—. " She was interrupted by the house phone ringing. Darting up, she answered it as if she had been expecting that call her whole life! However, she frowned and handed the phone to me. "It’s for you."

    Surprised, I took the phone. "Hello?"

    "Yeah, Rae?" It was Jo. "I couldn’t get you on your cell. It’s ten o’clock. Why did you want me to go to the mall at noon? We were just there!" she talked slowly, showing fatigue.

    I turned to the clock on the stove. 10:02 it read. "Oh, yeah. I’ve been downstairs. I was told to tell you to go. I’m not going. I had my chance. Now it’s yours."

    That was hard to comprehend for the both of us.

    Jo yawned. "Uh…okay. So, I’ll get hold of you after I get back. Right now, I’m going to take a shower."

    "Okay," I laughed. "Ja mata, Jo."

    "Bye, Williams-san," answered Jo before click off the other line.

    Gently, I set the receiver down and turned to my mom.

    "Jo," she said.

    I nodded. "Man, I’m tired. Mom, I’m going back upstairs. See you later," I yawned, struggling to pull myself up by the stairs railing.

    Lying back into my comfortable bed, I checked my texts again.

    Jo, Miku, Takuya.

    I already knew what Jo’s said, thanks to our phone conversation. So, I settled for Miku’s.

    "Yeah teruki ok just in pain. i think. few more days! ill have kanon send u a recording of it when it is over k?"

    I grinned tiredly and replied, "tell him that I said hi & that I hope he feels better. or have him txt me! k& thnks! J"

    Now Takuya’s, "im ok, u?"

    I glowered. What? Either way, I texted back. "Um…thats good & im okay."

    As I started to shut my phone, a new message landed in my text inbox. This time, it was Teruki.

    "I doing ok! hurts. itai! -.- aa, hi!"

    I snickered. How cute! "what happened? haha"

    Until 11:00, I sat around, bingeing on random foods and answering random texts, including the ignored message from Jo. It read, "Why? school in 2 days x.x easter tomorrow!"

    After I had replied, I really wish I hadn’t answered hers at all. School and candy. Bingeing and sickness. Sleep and work. Two things that did not go hand in hand.

    Deciding to play Miss Lazy for the day, I rolled over and squeezed the light out of my eyes, waiting for another round of sleep to hit.

    One must have bit because at roughly 1:30 my phone beeped.

    Stretching insanely, I grabbed out my phone and opened the text that had waken me.

    "KYO. omg. kyo gave me a locket like yours w/ #s in it! OMG. so this is why you didn’t tell me?!"

    I smiled, closing my eyes. I decided not to reply. I didn’t want to think or ruin the news for Jo. This was her time. Her time to start something like what I fortunate to have started, but with Dir en Grey.

    Secretly congratulating my friend inside my head, I stifled and excited squeak and closed my eyes again, allowing myself to sleep, one again. As far as I was concerned, only good things landed in the path ahead of me.

    I knew this wasn’t the end. The end had to surface sometime; but, for now, I didn’t give a ********! I just had to live in the moment—which I gladly did.



    Epilogue

    By: Megan B.

    July 11th.

    Three months later—exactly.

    Sighing, I sat on my bed. Too many things has happened since I had last sat down and thought.

    School ended in mid-June. When classes resumed after Easter break, Jo and I were suddenly known as the girls that spoke to the famous Japanese men. I swore to Jo I didn’t tell, and she confirmed the same. People, I guessed, were just nosy like that.

    I still, however rarely, spoke to An Café, even though they were back in Japan. I bid farewell and watched them leave three weeks after Bou. I lost all communication from Kyo, but Jo didn’t.

    Also, I wished a "Nyappy 25th" to Kanon. That meant more to him than I could have ever guessed.

    Coming back to reality, to my room and my bed, I peered around. My walls were cluttered with, yet, more posters and my signed photo of An Café, taken April 9th, hung neatly in a golden frame above my bed. The frame sparkled as the mid-morning sun bounced around, flowing through the open window.

    I often wondered to myself if I would ever hear from An Café, or even Kyo, again. Well, that was an understatement. Wondered? Nah, more like worried. Moreover, our communication was slipping from my grasp.

    As I sat upright in thought, my phone rang.

    Dazed, I answered, after checking to number, with the standard, "Hello?"

    "Hello," rang a voice back. "Teruki desu calls from Japan! We’ve been thinking…"

    Thanks to everyone who has read this long series ^. ^ <3