"Ah!" I jolted upright, my right arm clasped over my pounding heart, with the other crossing my waist holding the hild of my blade; the Sol Katti. "The Lorca thing is just a thing of the past, let. it. go." Getting up, I pushed against the tree I'd been sleeping on and leaned against it. I let my sweat cool me off and waited for it to evaporate. After taking a deep breath I began the short trek down the hill to Aldaen, the capital of Lycia. The streets were littered by paupers trying to scratch out a living for themselves, the once pristine walls of Aldaen were now the color of bile, which crumbled as I stroked them. "The slums of a once magnificent city," I whispered to myself. Pushing a path through a horde of amateur merchants, I entered the true Aldaen under a crimson archway. Upon entering I gazed on a beautiful city with buildings the shade of pearls, that rose to the heavens. A perfectly paved road was laid out before me, with wealthy merchants on either side. As the awe faded I looked at the capital of Lycia for what it truly was. A self righteous town to ignorance. Turning back I looked into the closing gateway into the slums. The poor men, women and children were trying to make their way into the "magnificent" capital. Everyone that tried to was mercilessly skewered by spear or spike, regardless of age nor gender, but of status. Disgusted I turned away, and strode towards the nearest tavern. Opening the door I walked in, the spacious room was nearly empty save the bartender and myself, devoid of any other bounty hunters. Walking up to the wanted wall I heard the old bartender begin to speak.
"It aint gonna do you any good, Sir Aldaens men have killed or scared off any man who might've had the bad notion to try anthing in Aldaen."
"Oh?" I said taking a new interest. "Then I take it that all the men on this wall here, are people that not even the royal militia can handle?" I inquiringly raised my eyebrows. I didnt need to wait for an answer the bounty for the criminals spoke for itself. Not one mans capture was done for less than 1.5 million gold peices. I ripped the highest one from the wall, for the leader of the Ganelon bandits; "Batta the Beast" wanted alive for 6.75 million gold peices. From years on the job i've learned one thing, information doesn't come cheap. My pockets were a bit light at the time so I opted for a different option. I grabbed the collor of his shirt and pulled it inches away from my face, then asked my question, "What do you know bout this Batta guy?"
And that concludes the second chapter of my story, i want any critisism you can give me, it will greatly help me.
- Title: Fire Emblem re-tell
- Artist: Sterling Everex
A young noble is kidnapped at a from a nomad troop, away from his friend Lyn
11 years later he is a bounty hunter kicked out of his noble family, and once again meets Lyndis only to find that she is of royal lineage. But its only a little tidbit only on page 15 of a 123+ page story. I can tell this is one of the worse points in my story so i need to improve it, constructive critism please.
- Date: 05/04/2009
- Tags: deathinsleep