• SIDE STORY 3 PART 4 - MAKE DAMN SURE

    Great...death.

    .:{{Aya's Perspective}}:.

    My chest hurt beyond belief with every breath I would take and bruises were appearing out of nowhere, probably from the two times I mysteriously thrashed around whenever the pain became severe enough. I was unconscious again for another two days and was completely surprised and relieved that I actually woke again. I was so sure I'd have died while I was unconscious again, but I guess it wasn't time yet.

    I forced my eyes open when I felt delicate shaky fingers brush my bangs around. It was mom. She was also pale and violet rings were developing under her eyes. I noticed that the light didn't hurt when I opened my eyes and it made me realize that it was night time. Mom wet a washcloth in cold water and slid it onto my head after moving my bangs out of the way. She dabbed off water droplets that sped down my temples and almost into my ears with a tissue next to my hospital bed.

    I groaned quietly, signaling mom that I wanted her to removed the breathing mask from me so I could speak. She did as I wanted and with shaky hands, removed the mask and set it aside.

    "Mom...," I tried to make it into a question, but my voice was too hoarse to raise any higher.

    "Hi, baby," mom whispered, brushing my hair behind my ears, "You're awake."

    I groaned again, "Water,"

    Mom reached for something that was sitting at the end table next to my bed. She unscrewed the cap to bottled spring water and held my head up for support while holding the brim of the water bottle to my lips. The water entered my mouth slowly, but when she pulled the bottle away again, it was three-fourths gone. I leaned back again with mom's help and sighed.

    "Better?" she whispered again, rubbing my arm.

    I flinched when her hand reached the bruises on my wrist and I nodded, "Yeah,"

    "Akatsuki is waiting outside of the room," as soon as mom said that, my heart jumped, starting the pain in my chest again, "I wanted to wait in here until you were awake."

    "Where's dad? Arisa?"

    "Dad took Arisa out to go eat. He's trying to take her mind off of the situation for a little bit, but she's not fending well." mom smiled weakly, "She keeps thinking you're going to die the instant she leaves the room."

    "With my luck right now, that just might happen soon," I groaned.

    "Don't give up hope yet," she choked in her tears, knowing that all hope was already lost.

    "Why can't they save me?" I halfway asked myself.

    "The doctors...," mom played around with her fingers a little bit and looked down, "The doctors have never seen blood like yours before. They don't know the type or anything. They're at a complete loss. No blood like yours has ever been recorded, according to them."

    "I-I don't understand," I shook my head, my migranes coming back.

    "Nothing will be able to help you because there's never been like blood like yours," mom covered her mouth to keep from crying out loud.

    "Is mine just a different type or what? I still don't understand."

    There was a long moment of silence until mom spoke again, "I'll go get Akatsuki for you,"

    Thank God. I smiled weakly as mom leaned over and kissed my forehead, making me forget about the whole blood thing. If it's meant to happen, then it's meant to happen, but I couldn't help but feel lost and helpless.

    Mom left the room and after a few short seconds Akatsuki cautiously entered the room, shutting the door behind him. He rushed up to my bedside and before either of us could say anything, he crashed his lips onto mine and kissed me roughly for a good minute or two. He pulled away and held me close to him, breathing deeply to calm himself down while I sat in a daze.

    "Aya, no, Aya...," he sounded as though I were dying or something. Oh, wait, I am dying.

    "Akatsuki," I almost broke down when I realized it was him that was holding me once more. It had been what, a couple of weeks since we last hung out with each other?

    Akatsuki pulled back again and stroked my cheek, "Aya, you can't give up now,"

    "I don't have any other choice," I smiled half-heartedly, "I'm sorry."

    Akatsuki shook his head, "No, don't give up on me. Don't give up on your parents. Don't give up on Arisa."

    I gripped his shirt after he said "don't give up on me" and I glared at him, "No, you don't give up on me," I declared.

    "What?" his eyebrows formed into a line on his forehead in confusion.

    "I don't want you going all Hollywood on me and thinking your life is over once I'm gone. I want you to move on, find other people to love." I smiled, although it hurt me deeply to tell him that.

    "Aya, you know I can't do that," he kissed my forehead, "I can't do that."

    "You make damn sure," I glared at him again, "that you move on and live out the rest of your life like you would have before you met me. Return your life back to how it was."

    He shook his head, refusing, "I won't. I won't forget about you like that."

    "I'm not telling you to forget about me," I softened a little, "You can always remember me. Just don't dwell on me."

    "I've been dwelling on you since I first kissed you. You're my only lifeline." he sighed.

    "Akatsuki, quit it. Don't say crap like that. You're only seventeen years old. You have your whole life ahead of you."

    "But you had your whole life ahead of you,"

    "If I still had my whole life ahead of me, then I'd gladly and voluntarily spend every last second of it with you. But times change, people die, and others move on." I was on the verge of breaking down from all of the stress.

    Akatsuki paused another moment and after that moment, he climbed onto my hospital bed next to me and held me close to him while lying on his side. He was being careful not to move my needles in my arms too much. He lay one hand on my stomach and stroked slowly with his thumb.

    "So...you're not pregnant?" he whispered.

    I shook my head and sighed, "I honestly would rather be going through the trouble of pregnancy right now that the pain of whatever I have,"

    Akatsuki kissed my head, "Me too," his voice cracked a little.

    I couldn't help it anymore. The tears started creeping out and the sobs were kicking in while Akatsuki held me closer to his torso. He started singing a little song, quiet enough for me to hear. It took me until the chorus to figure out what song it was. I cried even harder when I put the pieces together and realized it was "Sacred" by Tokio Hotel. The lyrics were beautiful and fit perfectly with what was about to happen in this situation. I couldn't stop the reminiscing images of Akatsuki and I that flashed through my head the whole time he was singing it.

    "Akatsuki, I love you," I whispered and closed my eyes.

    The pain was starting over again, but not quite as bad. Not bad enough for me to start thrashing me around, but bad enough for me to know I only had seconds of consciousness left before I fell asleep unvoluntarily. I would have told Akatsuki I was in horrible pain at the moment, but I didn't want to freak him out anymore.

    "I'll be right here," he whispered to me, "When your mom, sister, and dad come back to check on you, I'll be back in when they leave, okay?"

    I nodded, holding my breath from letting out a cry of pain. Akatsuki repeatedly kissed my head and rubbed my shoulder, whispering "I love you" every few seconds, still sounding as though he were going to break down. I didn't want to leave, not ever.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    Akatsuki spent the next couple of nights in the hospital bed with me after mom and dad and Arisa would leave. He would always sing "Sacred" and other songs with deep meanings. I knew that the end for me was coming soon, too soon. The pain was completely unbearable, even worse than the pain that would start the thrashing but my body was much too weak and dying to thrash around anymore. The morphine and medicines the doctors would give me didn't subside the pain, but only made it worse. There was no medicine they had that helped me with my pains.

    My appetite had really curved even before I went into the hospital so I looked like a toothpick in the bed, even more emanciate than Arisa. Arisa would always try to feed me, even just a drip of soda, but I always ended up vomiting it back up afterwords. There were random times that I would cry out of nowhere from either the pain or the hunger that was eating away at me. Arisa cried with me, feeling as though there was nothing she could do, and mom and dad would always cry about it in the hallways afterwords. I hated so much to see everybody so depressed and I could barely talk to try to pacify them.

    Some of my friends and old friends came in from school one day, dropping off flowers and cards and early Christmas presents and wishing me luck. I lost it when my best friend told me she'd be waiting for me at school. I didn't want any more attention, I didn't want to see people worsening because of me. It was all too much to handle, too much stress to take in all at once which was probably what was killing me faster.

    Akatsuki came in one night to visit me again, not knowing it would be our last meeting.

    "How are you doing?" he asked, although he probably knew the answer already.

    I could barely speak but I managed to slip out a "not well" as he grabbed my hand and gently played with my fingers. His face was apathetic but his eyes showed unbelieveable pain and depression.

    "I can only stay for a couple of minutes before your parents come back in," he whispered.

    I could feel the fragility of my fingers in Akatsuki's hand and his skin felt unbelievably warm compared to my freezing skin. He leaned over and kissed my pale forehead and stroked my arm. I felt something drop onto my cheek. It was when Akatsuki pulled away and I looked up and realized that tears were silently filing down his cheeks. He knew this would probably be our last time having contact with each other. I wished so badly that we could have a special night to ourselves once more. I wanted to be in his arms again and I would never want him to let go.

    Akatsuki's crying was silent, but still unbelievably heart wrenching. Of all the times for me to finally have a serious boyfriend, I end up dying. Why is it always that a star in a movie becomes so attatched to somebody and they end up dying, only leaving their loved one in unbelievable despair?

    "I'm sorry," I winced, "if it seemed like I was...angry at...you the other day."

    He shook his head, "I know you weren't angry. You were just worried for me, weren't you?"

    I nodded and winced again at the pain that ripped through my chest again. Akatsuki immediately leaned over again and kissed me hard again and I allowed him to to whatever he pleased, so long as it would make him happier a little longer. We were only together for almost seven months and I had never felt so in love with a guy before. I knew there would still be many things I would never know about him, but I'm glad I knew what I knew.

    After another two or three minutes of our passionate kissing Akatsuki finally pulled away and held me close to him once again, bidding his goodbye. He kissed my neck and my throat and my collarbone over and over again while he attempted to slow down his tears. He still never cried out loud, though. Just tears came out of his eyes.

    "I love you," his voice cracked again, "and I'll never love anybody else more."

    I smiled weakly at that while blinking slowly, "I love you too...and only you,"

    He kissed me one last time, one last long kiss, and departed out of the room. With every inch that he moved away, it was ripping me open even more. He exited the room without ever looking back, but not leaving me behind. After about five more minutes of being alone, the most alone I've ever felt, mom and dad and Arisa came back in quickly. Arisa immediately sat herself down in the chair that took up the empty space on the left side of my hospital bed.

    "Aya, I...," she started nervously, "I bought you an early Christmas present."

    I smiled weakly, letting her know I wanted to see it. She pulled out a small jewelry box from a plastic bag and with shaky hands, opened it cautiously. She pulled out a necklace with two small heart charms on it. She held it up to my face so I could see what they each read. In one heart in cursive text, it read "Best" and in the same cursive in the other heart, it read "Friend". I wanted to ask her why she would get me a necklace that said "Best Friend", but she seemed to read my mind while she was slipping it on around my neck.

    "You're my only friend, Aya," her voice raised a few octatives while cracking, "My best friend."

    She had told me that before, but it never impacted me as much as it did now. I was her only friend she's ever had and I'm just leaving her like that. I was her twin. We were each other's best friends. We had never gotten into arguments, I was always the protective one and she was always the one that could cheer up anybody, make anybody's rainy day shine like the cleanest facet of a diamond.

    Arisa took my hand in hers, "But I will try to make more friends...as a favor to you,"

    My mouth twitched into a smile and faded right away unwillingly. I noticed my energy draining with every passing second. No, no I can't be dying! Not now!! I yelled to myself in my head. I couldn't move any part of my body and I was feeling colder with every second of the remainder of my life that was ticking away. My eyes were wanting to shut on me, close me in darkness for good.

    Arisa noticed the heart monitor slowing down dramatically. She gripped my hand and panicked, "Aya! Aya, no! Don't leave yet!" tears were already overflowing from her.

    I'm sorry, I wanted to say to her. Most people would be believing that they were heading to a better place, but not me. The best place I could ever be was at my sister's side. I didn't care if I would still be in pain or not, I'd willingly endure it if I could stay here.

    Mom and dad were on the other side of my bed, panicking and on the verge of breaking down as they watched me slowly die off. Every tick of the second hand was growing louder and louder and it felt as though it were going in slow motion. And along with every tick, I could feel a weight getting heavier and heavier on my chest, forcing the last inches of breath out of me.

    "Aya, no!!" Arisa cried again.

    One thing that was true that I had heard about, though, was my life flashing before my eyes. I never knew if it was all true or not, but it was for me. Every walk from school to home that Arisa and I would take after mom and dad would pick us up from school, every Halloween that Arisa and I dressed the same and fooling people with our identical looks, all of the trouble we got into at school from talking with each other too much in class, every time Arisa and I have ever cried on each other's shoulders. She was my crutch, my support, and I was hers as well. The time was finally coming where she would have to learn to walk on her own. I loved her so much and I couldn't ever ask for a better sister or twin. I could never ask for better parents either, even if they always hired somebody to look over us. And for once, I was incredibly grateful that they hired a watchdog again because that's when I met Akatsuki.

    The images flashed faster, memories played in my head like a worn out casette player and the noises around me were muffling. The room was spinning as I fought to keep my eyes open for just a few more seconds. It wasn't cancer that was killing me, it was the pain that came up without reason. There was no cancer to begin with. I wanted to smile at Arisa and mom and dad, tell them I was going to be okay but not the best. I was going to miss them truly and would be waiting for them and Akatsuki. Maybe when we all meet up again, then I can tell them about Akatsuki and I.

    My eyes drifted shut slowly as my last breath was drug out by the weight of the pain I had caused everybody else I loved so much...