• WARNING: this is a story full of plot holes and spelling errors. Your IQ may drop a significant amount when you are done reading this.


    Comic Manuscript Issue #1

    C-Swirl: Mmm that was good food
    Tree: yeah but I’m still hungry
    Elmo: too bad we don’t have anymore money
    C-Swirl: yeah, you ate so much we could barely afford to get our own food
    Jimmy: Hey, I know let’s go to the First Church of Jemanity
    (Author’s note: Jemanity refers to a group of people known as Jemima’s witnesses, who go door to door with pancakes)
    *they ignore him*
    Tree: I’ve got it, we’ll go to the First Church of Jemanity
    C-Swirl: that’s the best idea you’ve had all day
    Jimmy: Hey that was my idea
    Elmo: No Jimmy that was Tree’s idea, he said it first
    *Jimmy gets mad and explodes*
    Tree: sweet! Free hat
    C-Swirl: *sighs* I’ll get the ash tray
    Elmo: now that we’re done with that insignificant annoyance, let’s go eat
    Tree: yes, ask not for whom the bell tolls for it tolls for breakfast
    Elmo: what the hell does that mean?
    Tree: *in a philosophical voice* someday you’ll understand the importance of what I just said
    C-Swirl: hey look, we’re here
    *They all walk in*
    Tree: these pancakes are awesome
    C-Swirl: well I’m full let’s go
    Jimmy: fine I’ll get take out
    *Elmo, Tree, and C-Swirl walk out*
    Jimmy: Hey, can I get this to go
    Jemima’s Witness: Sorry honey, we don’t do take out
    *Jimmy gets mad and explodes*
    Meanwhile outside the church…
    KABOOM!
    Tree: oh no!
    C-Swirl: oh no!
    Elmo: oh no!
    *Kool-aid man busts out of the rubble*
    Kool-Aid man: oh yeah!
    *question marks appear over their heads*
    Jimmy: anyways
    Tree: Jimmy when did you get back
    Jimmy: I climbed out after the Kool-Aid man
    Tree: oh
    Elmo: hey what’s that on your back Jimmy?
    *tree takes the note*
    Tree: it says “we have Jimmy and if you ever want to see him again bring us 100 billion dollars by tomorrow.”
    Elmo: what, Jimmy’s right here. Tree you’re reading the note upside-down
    Tree: right I knew that, I was just testing you. The note says they took C-Swirl
    Jimmy: so our mission is to raise the money for the exchange!
    Tree: No you retarded midget! Our mission is to find the guys that took C-Swirl and beat them to a bloody pulp
    Elmo: but we have to find him first
    Jimmy: found him
    *Tree and Elmo look over to see Jimmy in another panel*
    Elmo: Jimmy, how did you do that? I mean you’re not supposed to be able to do that
    Tree: I know! It’s because he’s such a loser that the laws of physics don’t recognize Jimmy as a person
    Jimmy: I can still hear you ya know
    Elmo: He knows that’s why he said it
    Jimmy: I hate you so much
    *Tree appears next to Jimmy*
    Tree: I know
    Jimmy: how did you do that?
    Tree: unlike Elmo, I don’t waste my time listening to you at all
    Elmo: he has a point, listening to you is a bigger waste of time than watching George W. Bush think
    *Tree appears next to Elmo*
    Tree: I totally agree with that
    Elmo: how the hell do you keep doing that?
    Tree: I’m just awesome like that
    *meanwhile at the bad guy’s hideout*
    C-Swirl: zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ
    Pirate: why is he sleeping?
    Jimmy: he’s lazy what can I say
    Hey, wake up or I’ll make Jimmy explode
    C-Swirl: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    Pirate: that’s it make him explode!
    Jimmy: oh no!
    C-Swirl: oh no!
    *Kool aid man breaks through the wall*
    Kool-Aid man: OH YEAH!
    *Afroman flies through the wall*
    Afroman: Afro-electric BlasT!
    Kool-Aid Man: Oh s**t!
    *Kool aid man explodes*
    Afroman: It wasn’t even funny the first time
    Tree: ya got that right
    *Afroman jumps back in surprise*
    Afroman: when did you get here Tree?
    Tree: right before the Kool aid man went boom
    Afroman: oh ok anyways Afroman away
    Waffles: that was cool
    Elmo: waffles what are you doing here?
    Waffles: I was a sudden write in
    *Jimmy roundhouse kicks waffles in the face and he dies*
    Tree: obviously the writer doesn’t like you very much Waffles
    *waffles gurgles blood*
    Elmo: wow waffles Jimmy killed you
    C-Swirl: yeah you’re weak
    Tree: Ha! That’s what happens when you’re hated by the writer
    C-Swirl: alright fun’s over can you get me outta here now
    Elmo: sorry between the Kool aid man’s sudden death by afro-electrocution and waffles getting owned by Jimmy we just forgot
    C-Swirl: understandable just get me untied
    Pirate: not so fast!
    Tree: dude, what’s your problem?
    Pirate: have you forgotten? You beat me in the last issue
    Elmo: what, this is the first issue of this comic
    C-Swirl: yeah even Jimmy’s not that stupid
    Tree: I wouldn’t be so sure about that
    Jimmy: hey!
    Elmo: secret technique: Big Bird Delicious Egg Bombs
    Pirate: ahh it’s delicious but I’m dying
    *Jimmy runs up, eats the egg, and explodes*
    Tree: told you he wasn’t smart
    C-Swirl: *sighs* I’ll get the ash tray… Again
    Tree: don’t bother just go get a trash can
    Elmo: that’s just mean
    Tree: and now we’ll go to Tokyo for no good reason
    *summons his ice cream plane*
    Elmo: I thought you could only summon an ice cream truck
    Tree: nope, anything with an ice cream symbol is fair game
    C-Swirl: why are we going to Tokyo?
    Tree: the hell if I know ask the writer
    C-Swirl: fine, Mr. Writer why are we going to Tokyo
    Writer: because I said so now shut up and get in the plane
    Elmo: we should probably do what he says, I mean look at what happened to Jimmy and waffles
    Tree: but those were all really funny especially waffles death. That was fun for the whole family to watch
    Elmo: whatever let’s just go
    *they all get on the plane*
    Elmo: wow, this is a nice plane. How did you afford it?
    Tree: I…Uh…uhm…I won the lottery
    C-Swirl: really?
    Tree: uhm yeah let’s go with that
    Jimmy: you guys realize that nobody’s played the lottery since I was little, right?
    Tree: so someone played the lottery just now
    Jimmy: you know what I mean
    Tree: I don’t know why the writers decide to keep bringing you back but it’s pissing me off
    Elmo: hey we’re here
    C-Swirl: wow already this thing is fast
    Tree: yep oh and bye Jimmy
    Jimmy: what?
    *Tree opens the cargo doors and Jimmy falls*
    Elmo: what was that for?
    Tree: eh, I was bored
    *pilot’s voice comes on*
    Pilot: we’ll be landing in about a minute
    *they exit the plane*
    Tree: Tokyo, the land of Sushi and Anime
    Jimmy: and Pizza, don’t forget Pizza
    Elmo: no Jimmy Pizza came from Italy
    C-Swirl: hey is that what I think it is?
    Tree: nope it’s just a lizard under a magnifying glass. Jimmy, you can take care of this one
    Jimmy: yeah
    *Jimmy runs up to the monster and it crushes him*
    Tree: well, I’m hungry let’s go to the Second Church of Jemanity
    Elmo: but Jimmy blew that up
    Tree: that was the First Church, the second one is here in Tokyo
    Elmo: wait, wasn’t Jimmy’s flattened corpse right there a second ago?
    C-Swirl: yeah, I wonder where he is
    Tree: who cares wherever he is he’s probably in horrible agony
    (Meanwhile wherever the hell Jimmy is)
    Jimmy: where am I?
    *collapses from dehydration*
    Cactus: oh no
    Snake: oh no
    Scorpion: oh no
    *Kool aid man seemingly rises from the dead*
    Kool aid man: oh yes
    *Jimmy tackles him and drinks him*
    Jimmy: refreshing, but wait I thought that Afroman killed him already
    Writer: he did that was his generic non copyrighted 2nd cousin, Sergeant Fruit Juice
    Jimmy: ooooooook
    *Jimmy walks into the Tokyo panel*
    Tree: see there’s Jimmy and he looks like hell
    Elmo: let’s go
    C-Swirl: ok
    *they’re walking down the street*
    Elmo: hey are those the power rangers?
    Tree: looks like they’re fighting some badly thought up monsters
    Power Knights: we’re not the power rangers!
    Red Power Knight: we’re the non-copyrighted rip offs of the power rangers
    Tree: looks like you could use some help
    Red: no we’re fine
    *they’re getting their asses kicked*
    Elmo: don’t be foolish, we’re obviously stronger than you guys
    Tree: and besides you’re wearing latex armor
    Red: fine you can kill one
    *C-Swirl uppercuts a monster, Elmo hit one with a car, and Tree eats one*
    Red: hey, I said you could kill one
    Tree: we got bored so we killed them all
    *interrupted by reporters*
    Elmo: hey, we killed the monsters not them
    Red: don’t listen to them they’re lying
    C-Swirl: no we’re not, they are
    Tree: let’s settle this here and now
    (Random voice yells out)
    Voice: FIGHT!
    Elmo: quick tree throw Jimmy
    Tree: uhm…yeah there’s a slight problem
    Elmo: Tree, did you throw Jimmy at the monsters?
    Tree: I……….uhmmmmmmm
    Elmo; you threw him at the monsters didn’t you
    Tree: Y-yeah
    Jimmy: its ok, C-swirl seems to be handling them quite nicely on his own
    Tree: Jimmy, what did I tell you about using words that are bigger than you are?
    Waffles: that means nothing more than two letters
    *Tree hits Waffles in the back of the head and he dies*
    Tree: that was my joke you hack
    Elmo: why did you kill Waffles?
    Tree: I had no choice, the writer made me do it
    Elmo: oh yah and we al know how much the writers hate Waffles
    Jimmy: yeah almost as much as they hate me
    *a pancake flies from out of nowhere and cuts off Jimmy’s head*
    Elmo: what the hell was that?
    Tree: that was a Jemima’s Witness ninja technique, Pancake shuriken
    C-Swirl: who are you, mister
    Mysterious Stranger: I am Sir Up, the legendary pancake ninja and I have come to serve my master
    Tree: A welcome addition to the team
    Sir Up: Yes sir, you have my word that I will protect you
    *a waffle flies from nowhere and hits him*
    Tree: oh crap
    Sir Up: An enemy ninja from the Disciples of Eggo
    *Spiderman comes down and kills both ninjas*
    Tree: thanks Spider man
    Spiderman: everybody gets one
    Elmo: well, that was a completely random series of events
    Jimmy: yep
    Tree: look at C-Swirl fight
    *he’s giving them noogies and going WWE Smackdown on them*
    (5 minutes later)
    C-Swirl: that was easy
    Jimmy: looked like it was
    C-Swirl: Jimmy, You’re back
    Tree: why are you surprised? He comes back all the time.
    Elmo: yeah, in fact he came back died and came back again while you were fighting
    Voice: Finish Them!
    *they throw Jimmy at the Power Knights and he explodes*
    Voice: Fatality
    *Tree looks around*
    Tree: who keeps saying that?
    C-Swirl: hey, there’s a note on the ground
    *he picks up the note*
    C-Swirl: looks like they kidnapped Jimmy
    Tree: so?
    Elmo: Tree raises a good point, who cares?
    C-Swirl: normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, but they plan to use hi to blow up the entire universe
    Elmo: oh o
    Tree: who cares?
    Random citizen: oh no
    Jimmy’s Twin Brother (who happens to be Asian): oh no
    *Kool-Aid man bursts out of Jimmy’s brother*
    Kool-Aid Man: Oh Yeah!
    *Tree shoots the Kool aid man in the face*
    Tree: Will you guys stop saying “oh no”?
    Elmo: why?
    Tree: cuz if ya don’t the freakin Kool aid man is gonna keep busting through walls
    C-Swirl: let’s just go save Jimmy
    Tree: If we have to
    Elmo: Away!
    *sudden transition to desert scene*
    Tree: there’s their nuclear reactor
    Elmo: C-swirl and I will take care of it
    C-Swirl: right
    *Afroman appears and kills them both*
    Tree: oh well life goes on…. Except for them*laughs*
    Waffles: I’ll disable it
    Suicide Bomber: ALLA AKBA!!
    *blows up Waffles*
    Tree: heh, stupid guy forgot his twenty bucks
    *Jimmy goes supernova and blows up the universe as Tree takes Elmo and C-Swirl into a portal to a different dimension*

    To Be Continued…